Ugh. Valentine’s Day.
Depending on your circumstances it’s the best or worst day of the year.
Now, I promise this isn’t going to be one of those columns where I give you amazing Valentine’s tips about how best to treat your sweetheart, or where to buy the best chocolates or flowers or how to surprise-propose to your honey. But that’s because I’m single and a little mopey.
I also promise that this isn’t going to be a column where I vilify Valentine’s Day and everyone who celebrates it just because I’m single and want to take out my frustrations on the content couples in the world. You bastards are perfectly welcome to rub your happiness in the rest of our faces, for one day at least.
When my editor suggested that I write a Valentine’s Day column my first thought was, “NOOOOO!” Valentine’s Day columns and articles always seem to be the same. I didn’t want to add to the dozens of asinine whining from single people come Feb. 14, but if you will indulge me I’ll get the whining out of the way really quick.
The love gods have organized my life in such a way that I’ve never been dating someone on Valentine’s Day. Not once in the 21 Valentine’s Days I’ve lived through. Never. No chocolate hearts. No fancy dinners. No cuddling on the couch. Depressing, right? That’s what I thought.
But then I started to think about it a little more, and I realized that what’s starting to freak me out about Valentine’s Day is that these days the people you spend Feb. 14 with could very well be the same person you spend the rest of your life with. I’m talking about marriage here, people! Isn’t that freaky? I’m only now starting to realize that when all my parents’ couple friends say they met in college, that’s right now!
In elementary school, everyone got valentines. Even that gross kid who picked his nose and ate it. By middle school, you were starting to be more selective. No gross kids and no weirdos, just your friends and the guys/girls who were super dreamy. By high school, unless you were a super nerd (ahem, me) you had given up on Valentines entirely and were focusing on showering your significant other with as many red roses and stuffed pink teddy bears as humanly possible.
Now that we’re in college? All of a sudden, engagement has been a potential outcome of any Valentine’s Day date. When the hell did that happen? I can’t even keep up with the number of people I know from high school who are suddenly sporting rings — be they engagement or wedding rings. I am 20 years old, I shouldn’t have to be writing a maid of honor speech for my best friend’s wedding (although I’m ready whenever you are, Emily.) For her sake, though, I hope I have a few years to perfect it.
I am so — so, so, so, so, so — many steps away from getting married right now. So many. The thought of that white dress and “till death do us part” actually makes my heart skip a beat. And not in the good, romantic way, either. I’ve got places to travel, degrees to earn, maturity to acquire and partying to get out of my system before I could even think about settling down.
This isn’t to say that I’m totally opposed to relationships, though. I suppose I’d call myself a romantic, and I’m just waiting for a person whose weirdness meshes well with my weirdness before I give up my single life. I mean, it’s kind of a relief to not have to worry about making someone else’s Valentine’s Day super special. Like last year, I’ll probably break out my Incredibles valentines and pass them out to friends, stay in and watch the Blazers destroy the Wizards and eat what’s left of my Costco-sized Nutella.
But please, don’t feel sorry for me (if you even would), I’ll be perfectly content on Feb. 14. I’m sure I’ll have many more roses-filled Valentine’s Days than I’ve had roses-less ones. At least, here’s hoping.