Lakers and Spurs – why’d it have to be the Lakers and Spurs?
With the premiere of the long-awaited fourth Indiana Jones movie today, it’s only appropriate to use one of the professor-turned-explorer’s most famous lines to express my frustration with the NBA playoffs.
The Western Conference title will be won by either the Los Angeles Lakers, a team I’ve never been fond of and led by a player I’ve always despised, or San Antonio, which plays maybe the most boring brand of basketball in the entire league.
Instead of more alley-oops from the Hornets’ Chris Paul to Tyson Chandler, I get to watch the Spurs’ Tim Duncan make bank shots. Rather than watch Utah’s Deron Williams duel with Paul, we get to watch the tantalizing defense of Bruce Bowen or hear about how Kobe Bryant is the best teammate in the NBA.
I, uh, can wait.
I’ll admit that I’ve never liked the NBA as much as college basketball. I’ve never seen the atmosphere and tradition found at a college game replicated at any of the pro games I’ve watched in person. Something about the combination of T-shirt cannons and gift certificate-dropping remote controlled blimps just doesn’t appeal to me quite like a pep band.
But whether it was the Blazers’ run to respectability this season or the insanely competitive Western Conference regular season, I started to pay more attention this year.
Now, with only four teams left in the playoffs – the Boston Celtics and Detroit Pistons have already started the Eastern Conference finals – I probably won’t watch more than a few clips of the final two rounds on SportsCenter.
Because I like the tradition of the college game, shouldn’t I want to see the storied rivalry of the Celtics and Lakers revived this season? Of course not – it would mean the Lakers would have a 50 percent chance of winning a title.
Why does this series make me cringe?
First, the Lakers.
Even the memory of the Lakers’ 15 point, game seven comeback against Portland in the 2000 conference finals aside, the Lakers have always represented the cocky, glamorous NBA franchise. Then Shaquille O’Neal was traded to Miami in 2004, the Lakers missed the playoffs, their coach wrote a book about trading Shaq and missing the playoffs and a meltdown seemed to be at hand. Now they’re eight wins away from being world champions. Gulp.
For all the Lakers’ glitz and glam, you’d think watching the Spurs’ team-focused brand of basketball would be refreshing. But it’s so methodical and plodding that it literally makes fans turn off the TV.
I’m starting to suspect that Spurs’ head coach Gregg Popovich bases his game plans solely on the movie Hoosiers, where Gene Hackman made his players pass the ball four times before shooting.
In the history of the NBA finals on TV, the Spurs’ wins in 2003 and 2007 account for the two worst rated, ever. When even crowd shots of Eva Longoria Parker, point guard Tony Parker’s wife, doesn’t draw viewers, you’ve got a problem.
Even though I’ve played basketball since grade school, I’m prepared wait until next fall to tune in again. I’ve watched enough of each team during their last decade of success to know that the league’s new catchline should be The NBA: Where predictable happens.
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