It’s a generally accepted social practice that, when someone walks up to you and asks how you’re doing, you always lie to them at least a little. This is because nobody actually wants to know how you’re doing, they just want to show you that they care enough to ask. That’s why you bend – or perhaps break – the truth when you reply by saying that you’re doing pretty well, thanks. When my friends say, “Truman! How’re you doing?” I don’t say, “Well, at the moment I’m really worried that I might have appendicitis. I mean, my appendix doesn’t hurt or anything, but I read on Wikipedia that sometimes appendicitis doesn’t have symptoms, so your appendix just gets bigger and bigger without you knowing until it bursts and you die. So I’m sort of worried about that right now. But how’re you doing?”
Sometimes, there are just things we don’t want to know about each other.
On Web sites such as Facebook and Twitter, however, we do not pay one another the same courtesies that we do in real life. For example, outside of Facebook I don’t run around poking people – if I want to convince someone to have sex with me, I’ll find a more effective method than that. In much the same way, it seems that the time honored lie-about-how-you’re-really-doing rule does not carry over from our real lives to our cyber lives.
Twitter and Facebook’s “status” functions exist to tell the Internet how you’re feeling and what you’re up to. Users find many applications for these tools: Some explain what they’re actually doing as though we care, others put up inside jokes, and still others fill this space with song lyrics in an attempt to seem deep and vaguely meaningful. There are a few people in my network, however, who take the status bar much too seriously. To these people, the prompt “What are you doing right now?” is an honest, caring question from their good friend Facebook, and they answer it truthfully.
“_____ is crying right now because its like drew nods & smiles but just doesnt understand!! :-(”
“_____ just wishes she would GROW UP already i mean jesus”
“_____ really wants sarah to call because he can totally explain it ok??? why do you always just assume stuff about me omg”
Since when did the Internet become a psychiatrist? It’s one thing to update your status bar to say that you’re feeling down in the dumps, but turning it into a political attack ad makes it awkward for everyone else on the site who happens to be on the outside of the issue. It’s like going over to a friend’s house for dinner as a child and seeing his or her parents have a noisy argument at the table – you don’t know whether to watch or pretend not to notice, but you do know it’s an uncomfortable experience you’d just as soon forget.
I’m not trying to tell you what you can and can’t do with your Facebook page or your Twitter account. All I’m saying is that when you’re feeling fired up or dealing with an intimate issue, and are considering turning your profile into a billboard declaring your angst, step back and ask yourself whether you want all of your friends and casual acquaintances to become acquainted with your personal problems, as well. In the long run, I think you’ll appreciate the extra seconds’ thought, and I’m sure your friends will too.
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