Senior Kristina Ramenakis admits that at one point in her life, she was homophobic.
Born and raised in South Carolina, the English major was surrounded by conservative friends, teachers and neighbors, and like many of them, she had a hard time accepting people living a non-heterosexual lifestyle.
But in ninth grade, an immediate family member came out to her, and Ramenakis’s life changed completely.
At first she was stung with disbelief and tried hiding her family member’s identity. But with time, her feelings evolved from shock and shame to a realization — she was gay herself.
“I had an inkling that I might be gay, too,” she said. “I spent three years thinking about it, and finally I got so tired of keeping it inside. I thought, this is me. The world is not going to fall apart if I’m gay.”
Eventually she came out to family members and friends who were supportive and loving. But she said for many people in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community, coming out is a whole different experience.
“I had a hard time coming out because I thought people might think I’m a different person,” she said. “I didn’t lose my friends, but some people did. More and more a lot of people do have positive experiences, but I just consider myself fortunate.”
Today marks the 14th annual National Coming Out Day — a day to recognize the significance of people in the LGBT community accepting themselves, facing the challenges of living in today’s society and making the larger LGBT community visible.
Between 11 a.m. and 1 p.m. today in the EMU Amphitheater, campus and community members will celebrate. Activist and writer James Green will speak about the importance of visibility and try to demystify differences between people in general.
Green, who graduated from the University in 1970 and hails from San Francisco, will also discuss his personal connection to the movement as transgender, he said. An open speak out will follow, giving LGBT members a chance to tell their coming out stories.
“It’s an opportunity to let non-LGBT people remember or know that difference is not necessarily a frightening thing,” said Green, who has written legislative proposals to increase rights and safety for people in the LGBT community. “When people are fearful, they act in a defensive manner, which turns into an aggressive situation.”
For people in the LGBT community, the day shows them they have support and are not alone, psychology Professor Pam Birrell said. Birrell, who spoke at “Becoming Gendered: Identity and Crisis” on Wednesday, said coming out in an “entrenched, homophobic” society can be painful but enlightening at the same time.
“I think it’s a double-edged sword,” she said. “It’s the healthiest thing you can do, but it also opens you up to prejudice and discrimination. It’s important to have a supportive community to do that within.”
Ramenakis, who is now the LGBT issues coordinator at the Women’s Center, said having the community come together in one place also shows the large numbers of people in the LGBT community.
“It’s a supportive sense of camaraderie,” she said. “It lets you know there are people like you, and there’s a community waiting for you. Coming out in numbers makes it easier for the next person.”
She added that she is sometimes treated differently by outsiders. She has friends who have been targets of hate crimes, she said, but she has experienced name-calling and offensive language, which she lets “roll off.”
“I want to get upset about it,” she said. “I wish people weren’t homophobic, but at the same time I don’t want to let it get to me. I have a lot of enthusiasm for the queer movement, and I’m not going to let people like that affect me.”
LGBT Support Services director Chicora Martin and LGBT co-director Maddy Melton agreed that visibility, especially on campuses, is important to people both in and outside the LGBT community.
“A lot of people probably don’t know they know someone who is queer,” Melton said. ” This puts a face to a name. You may already know queer people, and seeing that may make the word less scary.”