A group of women gather together in the living room of a small apartment early one evening, chatting about school, work and the daily grind, relaxing with wine glasses in hand. Yet one element makes this gathering private, intimate and a definite women-only zone.
These women are here for a Passion Party.
Passion Parties market sex toys, sensual aides and other products that enhance women’s sexual relationships. Women gather together to learn about these products through the guidance of a consultant, who gives personal product testimonial and encourages party attendees to do the same.
“Everyone is a little excited, a little edgy, and it makes you feel empowered. It inspires a culture of having fun with your sexuality, which doesn’t have to mean exploiting your body,” sophomore family and human services major Kristen Mico said.
Parties like these are quickly becoming more popular with a new generation of women who are willing to initiate change in their sex lives and who don’t want to visit a seedy adult shop to do it. These parties are akin to the Tupperware parties of an older generation, which garner repeat attendance, not only for convenient product purchasing, but for the genuine social interaction that occurs when a group of women get together to shop in the comfort of their own homes.
Mico has attended Passion Parties twice and described them as “indicative of young, female culture in the U.S.” She praised the parties for nurturing female independence in a fun environment.
The typical party begins with an introduction of the consultant, who explains how she began promoting Passion Parties and often refers to the company philosophy of “women helping women.” The consultant then explains a display table of products, establishing an honest and frank discussion that answers questions and appeals to women that are curious or nervous. Party attendees are encouraged to taste and try the various lotions, edibles, lubrication and massage products.
A break halfway through the party allows the women to chat with each other, ask more intimate questions of the consultant, and begin to consider which products they will order at the end of the evening. The party resumes with a new display featuring the main attraction, a collection of vibrators, dildos, cock rings and other various toys. The women continue the interactive party, answering sex toy trivia to win samples, laughing about intimate descriptions, and generally having a good time.
Mico related these events with an emphasis on the element of female bonding that is present at these parties.
“It gives you an opportunity to know your friends on a different level. For girls that don’t talk about sexuality in everyday conversation, it really normalizes and celebrates issues that need to be addressed in that ‘girl time’ environment, while still having a lot of fun.”
The mission for a Passion Party, however, is not just to be a fun event that trumps other weekend entertainment. Passion Parties consultant Robyn Kutka emphasized that the primary goal is to provide women with sex toy education in a comfortable atmosphere and avoid a trip to the adult store.
“It takes a lot of nerve to go into those stores. The key aspect of the parties is that you can ask your girlfriends these questions in a non-intimidating environment,” Kutka said.
Passion Parties, “Where every day is Valentine’s Day,” markets its products with the intention to enhance relationships. The brand primarily promotes use of their products in healthy, monogamous situations to ultimately improve communication and build stronger relationships.
Elizabeth Reis, assistant professor in the University Women’s and Gender Studies Program, teaches a U.S. Women’s History course that includes an examination of the history of the vibrator. Reis explains that the discussions at parties like these introduce the benefits of using sensual aides both in a relationship and alone.
“Perhaps these parties will serve as a venue for women to begin these discussions with their friends first in a fun, relaxed environment. Ultimately they’ll gain more knowledge about their own bodies so that their sexual experiences – whether alone or with a partner – can be more fulfilling and enjoyable,” sReis said.
Kutka agrees, explaining that most women leave the party with a completely different impression of sex toys and their relation to female sexuality, sexual health and relationships. She believes that the Passion Parties brand empowers women to make choices in a sexual relationship.
“Some women still hold the feeling that they can’t ask for their own pleasure, but these parties build their confidence. They walk away saying, ‘That was so much different from what I expected,’ and they can’t wait to attend again.”