A recent posting under the ‘casual encounters’ category on the Eugene craigslist.org Web site exemplifies the notion of ‘hooking up.’
“Hi, I am a 26 open-minded person who wants to have some fun tonight,” the post reads. “I hope that there is someone out there who shares this desire. If you are looking for a fun night with a handsome dude, hook it up.”
Hooking up isn’t limited to the Internet. A recently released book explores the idea that hooking up is replacing traditional dating on high school and college campuses and is caused by changing attitudes toward marriage, dating and women. University counselors and educators fear hooking up could lead to unhealthy relationships and sexual assault.
Laura Sessions Stepp, author of “Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both,” followed nine college and high school women for one year.
In her book, Stepp broadly defines hooking up and writes it can “consist entirely of one kiss, or it can involve fondling, oral sex, anal sex, intercourse or any combination of those things.”
“Hooking up is more casual than dating and carries no sense of commitment,” Stepp said.
The term hooking up is laced with confusion and different definitions.
“I didn’t even know what hooking up meant until today,” University junior Tony Diep said Monday. “The term is used so loosely.”
University senior Jenny Gerwick said dating and hooking up are different. Dating, Gerwick said, involves pre-arrangement.
“You arrange to do something specific, but hooking up doesn’t involve anything specific,” Gerwick said.
Another author says hooking up involves a sexual activity.
“I define hooking up as any sexual activity beyond kissing,” said Amber Madison, 22, author of “Hooking Up: A Girl’s All-Out Guide to Sex and Sexuality.” “It can be any kind of sexual activity, but I don’t think hooking up implies any kind of commitment.”
Hooking up is a product of changing attitudes toward women and relationships, Stepp said, adding the mindset of females has changed over time.
“Women feel more empowered both in class and in their studies, and on the playing field in sports,” Stepp said. “They bring that same sense of freedom and equality to the bedroom.”
Stepp said casual sex existed when she was growing up but dating was the primary way of forming a relationship.
Hooking up is a sign of attitudes of equality, Stepp said.
“I feel like we were inhibited, as women, from expressing ourselves sexually,” she said of growing up in the 1960s and ’70s. “I would never want to go back there.”
The author said parents tell their children to focus on academic and career success and to wait until after they finish school for a relationship. She added parents are not talking to their children about sex and relationships.
“Parents and other older adults have been giving girls the message, ‘Wait until you get involved. You have your career ahead of you. Relationships are messy and time-consuming.’” Stepp said.
She contended that the college environment, including heavy interaction with the opposite sex and access to alcohol, contribute to hooking up.
Gerwick said she speculates technology has made hooking up easier thanks to text messaging and the Internet.
“You don’t even have to talk face-to-face first,” Gerwick said.
Gerwick said she thinks attitudes toward marriage have changed since the 1950s.
“People aren’t really looking to get married right away,” Gerwick said. “People are also cynical about marriage.”
Health counselors and educators say they worry hooking up may have harmful effects.
Those involved in hook ups are seeking a feeling of love and connection, said Jon Davies, a psychologist at the University Counseling and Testing Center.
“What they’re needing is something deeper but are afraid of getting hurt,” Davies said. “That’s the appealing thing about hooking up: ‘I can get some physical contact, I can get some love, I can get reassurance.’”
Davies said those involved in hook ups can develop an emotional connection in a short amount of time and could develop other expectations.
“When those expectations are dashed, it can be painful and hurtful,” Davies said.
He said partners in hook ups cannot communicate effectively.
“You don’t know what the other person wants,” Davies said. “You don’t know them very well, so you don’t know how to communicate.”
Davies added those involved in a hook up risk sexual assault because someone could get victimized, or a partner could hurt someone without the intention to do so.
Davies, who grew up during the 1960s, said hook ups have likely always existed under different names, such as “free love,” but he hears the term hooking up often at the counseling center.
Ramah Leith, a health educator at the University Health Center, said relationships should involve communication about sexual history, expectations and contraception.
“My main concern is that there isn’t as much consideration for safer sex practices,” Leith said of hook ups.
“Hooking Up” author Madison said she fears the media may misrepresent youth and negatively portray college students.
“People our age are very capable of having lovable relationships and caring about the world,” Madison said. “I don’t think the sexual climate is this cold, ‘I just want sex’ social scene that it’s often made out to be.”
“Unhooked” author Stepp said she has hope that hook ups will end based on feedback from the book.
“I think young women and men recognize there’s something they want to change here,” Stepp said. “They don’t want to go back to the old days, but they want to be more careful in who they have choose to have sex with.”
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