Last ride
Police found a stolen hearse and a body inside it in Cleveland last week. The body was dumped by the thieves at an intersection, which the police found thanks to a note they left behind. Computer equipment was also taken from the crematory, and police speculate the robbers used the hearse to transport it. The body was apparently unharmed and the funeral director apologized to the family of the deceased, claiming bodies were often left in the hearse which was locked inside the building. No arrests have been made, as there were no breathing witnesses.
 
Bad tip
A waitress in North Carolina was fired this week for griping about a tip on Facebook. After a cheap couple kept her at work late and only tipped her $5, the waitress mentioned the couple and the restaurant by name on Facebook. The waitress was fired shortly after for casting the restaurant in a bad light and speaking disparagingly about customers on a social network. More proof that you shouldn’t friend your boss, and leaving nothing to be said about keeping your complaints to yourself.
Stiff dog
A veterinary center in Huntington, N.Y., has prescribed Viagra pills to treat a pit bull with a heart condition. They are currently accepting donations from the Long Island community to protect the 6-year-old dog from possible heart failure. Interestingly enough, the sex-boosting medicine was originally developed as a heart medication.
Pneumatic nuptials
Just when you thought the Las Vegas shotgun weddings were the cutting edging in marriage efficiency, the Japan-based Kokoro Co. has created something even more convenient: The I-Fairy. This cutesy, 4-foot tall robot, complete with arms that move in 18 different degrees and plastic pigtails, conducts the wedding vows with the skill of an aged priest and has all the personality of a trash can. But in today’s arms race of novelty, a ceremonial wedding-bot is definitely original. Only three of the $68,000 bots are in use, respectively in Japan, Singapore and the United States.
Ritzy grills
Are you one of those businessmen who does a lot of traveling but can never find the time to grill your meat in foreign countries? Too much business and not enough pleasure? You can now recline on a porch and enjoy the sights and smells of a new land without actually leaving your personal plane. ABJ Explorer jets, dreamed up by BAE Systems and British design consultancy Design Q, features a viewing platform built into the tail of the plane. Just exit the interior space of your aircraft through the handy doorway and relax. Finally, someone is thinking about those poor, overworked corporate executives by letting them have a little fun, too.
For two forties
Matthew Brace, 24, is the kind of father we all wished we had. According to police, Brace and his girlfriend went to a gas station and convenience store Monday afternoon with his 3-month-old baby. Allegedly, when an employee asked how old the baby was, Brace replied: “For two forties you can have her.” He then allegedly started loading the employee’s truck with the baby and her stroller. The employee refused the deal and called the police, who found the three hiding behind a trash bin at a motel nearby. The daughter was taken into state custody and Brace has not been charged.
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