Editor’s note: The following is part of our Shallot series: All content is unbelievably fake.
Seven college-age students were seriously injured Saturday night, when a hostile phantom began terrorizing a local Measure 74 benefit and music show.
“It was so scary, bro,” University junior Jake Johnson said. “This ghost was throwing chairs and bottles, stealing stuff and dropping amps on people.”
Witnesses state that even though the Eugene Ghost Fighting Force (more commonly known as merely “The Ghostbusters”) arrived promptly, the benefit’s bouncer, Leon Klink, wouldn’t let them pass.
“Everyone was screaming ‘There’s a ghost in here, let them in!’ but the bouncer wouldn’t let (the Ghostbusters) in!” said one traumatized witness, Megan O’Tooney.
The frantic call was received at promptly 12:07 a.m., according the Ghostbusters’ phone at headquarters. Within minutes, witnesses reported a team of four Ghostbusters arriving at 16th Avenue and Hilyard Street, the site of a Measure 74 benefit and a Dumb & Dumber Campus Tour music show.
Though they had valid identification, Klink refused to let them enter because they wouldn’t pay a $2 cover charge. After a grueling 40-minute argument, the ghost flew out a north-facing window, leaving havoc and seven injured students in its wake.
Klink’s employer, Bouncy Bouncers, Inc., issued an official apology for the misunderstanding and has offered to reimburse any medical bills.
“We didn’t realize ghosts or the Ghostbusters were real,” a Bouncy Bouncer representative said. “We thought the movie was fiction.”
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