Four-year-old Amirya Skyler doesn’t know how lucky she is. Lying on her dad’s bed in a one-bedroom apartment murmuring “I love you” in her sleepy little voice, you’d never guess that she’s seen everything from drug addiction and abandonment to custody battles and adjusting to life with a man she calls “dad,” whom she hardly even knew. Little Amirya doesn’t understand the adversity she and her father overcame — hell, as far as she’s concerned, she’s in a perfect little world filled with pink castles, Tinkerbell stickers and coloring books.
Amirya doesn’t know about her father’s rough upbringing. When her dad, Shane Skyler, was 12 years old, his father died of cancer and his mother had a stroke, causing Shane to leave school and help provide for the family.
His mother spiraled into depression, alcoholism and terrible relationships after his father’s death; she was no longer able to maintain a household.
Amirya doesn’t know how hard it was for her dad to pack up and leave his family at such a young age.
Living car-to-car and drug deal-to-drug deal, with no real certainty or aspiration, Amirya’s father lived delinquently just to be able to make some sort of living and send some money to his mother. At age 13, though he wasn’t physically living at home, he was still the man of the house.
Amirya probably doesn’t know what that means, but she does know that her father doesn’t allow her to watch cartoons on weekdays.
When he was 18, her father was prescribed painkillers after a horrible car accident and developed an addiction that sent his life into a blur.
Amirya may not know that she was born during this blur, but if you ask her how much she loves her dad, she’ll tell you, “I love him 20” (the highest number she can count to).
She knows her daddy went to prison for three years, but she may not understand how much he did for her while he was in there. He took parenting classes, underwent a vigorous rehab boot camp and quit using drugs — just to give her a better future. In that 4-foot-by-8-foot cell, eating food he described as cat puke on rice, he thought of her every day and formulated his plan to be a good father.
It would mean nothing to Amirya if you told her that her daddy was incarcerated for committing 37 drug-related felonies, but she’d rip his head off if you told her that he said the F-word.
He left prison as a new and drug-free man, with his mind on one thing — his daughter.
He had to fight for her custody, because the Department of Human Services had to take Amirya from her mother because of her third drug relapse, but once he was able to display his genuine desire to be a parent, a stable job at a restaurant (yeah I know, how the hell did a felon get a job in this economy?), and a basic comprehension of parenting skills, he was awarded full custody of his little girl. He now attends Lane Community College in pursuit of a career in radiology.
I’m sure Amirya remembers just how hard it was being introduced to a real parent. From a mother who let her rip and run as she pleased to a well-trained father who wasn’t going to let her do whatever she wanted — it wasn’t easy. But through his ability to talk to her like a human, give her an amazing amount of patience, and do all the things that parents don’t want to do, he was able to make a drastic change in her life.
So drastic, in fact, that many say she is a totally different child.
No longer is Amirya being abandoned by her parents or misguided by visions of narcotics; she is in a Head Start program perfecting the fabled art of the alphabet.
No longer is she vulnerable to a rugged and virtually inhospitable environment; rather, she comes home to a pink-choreographed play palace riddled with countless books that she knows by heart.
Four-year-old Amirya Skyler doesn’t understand how unlikely her situation is: she just knows that home is with “daddy”— and she wouldn’t change that for the world.
[email protected]