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Question: “WHAT TO DO IF EVERYONE IS A MILLION MILES AWAY?”
-Lonely at home
Without any other context, there are two ways I can interpret and answer your question. The first interpretation is to provide a list of things to do in the seemingly endless time at home. The second interpretation is to give advice for how to be alone. I’ll address both because, though they sound the same, they are slightly different.
If you’re asking about how to spend your time, there are plenty of ways to stay occupied, but it does require a bit of creativity to do more than just sit on the couch and spend hours scrolling through social media. If you truly are starved for pastimes, some activities can be projects or things around your home you’ve been meaning to do — perhaps that side hobby you put on the back burner. Personally, I’ve been exercising as a coping mechanism, and it’s brought a lot of stability for my well-being because I know it’s an avenue for good health and an outlet to relieve my anxiety about the world.
Do keep in mind that we’re in the middle of absolutely unprecedented chaos, and if you genuinely feel like you can’t do anything more than your daily routine, there is no need to push yourself. That is to say, don’t use this as an excuse to avoid classwork or working from home, but check in with yourself about your needs and capabilities. People right now are generally understanding as long as you are honest.
If you feel like you’re completely out of things to do, the issue then is not that you’re out of things to “do.” Rather, it’s the stillness that accompanies being truly alone.
This is an issue similar to what I addressed in my column on staying connected with people who disconnect when stressed. By being cooped up at home, all the minor, day-to-day distractions are stripped away from you, and your insecurities or other concerns can suddenly be the loudest thoughts.
It’s hard to escape a place we’re stuck inside of, especially if that place is inside our own minds while we’re physically stuck inside. Confronting those inner thoughts – as scary as it can be – is the only way we can learn to be truly alone. Even then, it’s still difficult. I recommend journaling because you can just dump all your thoughts onto some paper, but still be able to go back and look over them — or just throw it away.
In this unprecedented time, it’s more essential than ever to maintain good health, but you don’t have to do it alone. If you are seeking outside help, there are plenty of online resources and even therapists still doing therapy sessions online through Zoom, phone calls, Theralink and even Facetime. The UO Counseling Center has this extensive list of mental health resources as well as other services.
Many people don’t know how to be truly alone. Humans are social creatures. But being truly alone, to a degree, means being able to accept yourself completely. The key to accepting yourself in this strange period is self-compassion. These are unprecedented times, and with what we know of the world being spun on its head, it’s only natural to have an identity crisis of sorts. Take each day as it comes, do what you can to keep being healthy, include acts into your everyday routine that make you happy and stay hopeful. You’ll be able to see your people again soon.
