Opinion: Famous love songs written by men lend themselves to ignorant perspectives soaked in misogynistic phrases. I’m exhausted by the expectation to like them.
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I am enchanted by the way music imitates life. Often, I will find connectedness amidst everyday circumstances and the songs I admire. For example, the sobbing vocals of Brandi Carlile mirror the raindrops that streak my windows after a storm. My mind reconciles with sorrow and serenity; both the rain and the song give me this emotion.

When Phoebe Bridgers tells me, “I know it’s for the better,” I listen. Voices and words from various singers help me to comprehend my own thoughts. This is not the case, however, for many pop songs written by men who talk about a woman’s experience in a relationship. 

Lyrics from these songs are not comforting nor understanding. In fact, they are the opposite. Due to their popularity, I am expected to think the words are endearing. Some studies argue that subjection to certain genres of music can lead to negative attitudes surrounding women. I believe this is true for many love songs.
For example, in many Bruno Mars songs, the women who he sings about either have ignored perspectives or are inconsistently described. This makes me distrust the authenticity of the lyrics.

I would like for many of these songs to stop being normalized as sweet. “Talking to the Moon” describes a man after a failed relationship. He is desolate and longing, hoping his former partner is on the other side of his desire for communication.

But what if this former partner has found herself in a much healthier situation? The song reeks of manipulation once Mars sings, “In hopes you’re on the other side talking to me too. Or am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon?” Explaining one’s hopes by itself is unproblematic, but the gross self-deprecation that follows begs for the pity of listeners. This practice commands any attention away from alternate experiences and leads to ignorance of a woman’s perspective.

Mars is also inconsistent in his descriptions of the women he loves. He jumps from stating, “you’re beautiful, just the way you are,” in “Just the Way You Are” to using derogatory words about women and calling their friends ugly in “24k Magic.” The inconsistencies in this language point towards a carelessness of feminine representation.

Mars is not the only male singer to succumb to this happening. Popular singers such as Shawn Mendes, Justin Bieber and Ed Sheeran all fall into this category with a few of their songs; they either fail to acknowledge another individual’s feelings and situations, or they describe a woman based solely on her looks. This poses the issue of ignorance over these lyrics. The normalization of negative language surrounding women is at stake.

These singers are rich. They are award-winning. They have fanbases stretching across many demographics. This is why even the miniscule negativities are important to point out. I think their songs tend to remain popular due to a culture of fans who are hyperfused on a singer’s appearance as opposed to their content. I also think some listeners won’t dissect lyrics very deeply if they like the tune.

Not all songs will be as blatantly misogynistic as “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke, which is about a man constantly trying to get the attention of a woman while she shows no want in his efforts. But it is more alarming when we can’t call attention to the small drops of misogyny in hugely popular music.
No matter how intoxicating the beat of a song may be, I’ll never find myself enchanted with lyrics that make me feel diminished. So, as I anticipate rain in the forecast, I will create a playlist that continuously respects the experiences of my brain. I’m exhausted by the male singers who attempt to force me into a different perspective.