The pairing of the younger man and the older woman is an interesting phenomenon that has been explored in such classic films as “Harold and Maude” and “The Graduate.” Most recently, Ben Younger’s “Prime” (2005) explored this pairing with Uma Thurman and Bryan Greenberg.
When we see an older man and a younger woman together, most of us see that as sketchy. It certainly happens frequently in real life. It’s hard to idealize in movies, though, because it just seems nasty for some reason. What is it about the younger man and the older woman that is just sketchy enough to be titillating but not sketchy enough to cause utter revulsion? I’m sure a Freudian would have an interesting answer to that question.
I finally got around to watching “Prime” on DVD not that long ago. I wish I had seen it earlier. There’s a scene when the two characters go on their first date. Like a couple would do on any good first date, they go to a convenience store to pick up a six pack. The young man is carded, which sparks a discussion about age. She asks him how old he is. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t speak Vietnamese. Why do you ask?” he replies. If I had seen that movie just a few weeks earlier I totally would have used that line.
My girlfriend is 10 years older than I am. When we met, she thought I had a boyish charm. Then she found out that it’s not boyishness; it’s just boy. When we go to bars, it’s always a question of whether the bartender is going to see me first and card us or see her first and not card us.
We were hanging out last weekend and she said, “This is totally a Gen-X thing to do.” I would have pointed out that I am a member of Gen-Y, but it can be hard to have a conversation over the ticking of her biological clock.
“I really want a dog,” I said to her. “When I see people with dogs, I feel the same way women your age feel when they see people with babies.”
She begins far too many sentences with the phrase, “I’ve never been pregnant, but…” Tick, tock. Tick, tock.
It can be intimidating to be with someone who has more life experience. Much, much, much more life experience. How she avoids condescension is a mystery to me.
“Don’t you remember your early 20s?” I ask. “When you were that age didn’t 10 years seem like forever? Didn’t you look at people in their 30s and consider them old?”
There are some definite benefits to the age difference, though. One of the benefits is that she makes more money than I do so I can totally mooch off her. I’ve never had a sugar momma before, but I could get used to it. That’s a two-way street, though. She certainly seems to be growing accustomed to my “youthful vigor.” What happens when I get to be her age, though? Will she dump me for a still younger man? I wouldn’t put it past her.
Older women are assertive. They’re too busy to play games. “There are many reasons to date a younger man,” she once wrote (dripping with innuendo). “We’ll most likely die at about the same time, for one.” Ah yes. Romance.
I don’t get her pop culture references, though. Her childhood was full of things I’ve only read about in history books. How weird is it to be with someone who actually played Pong? Too weird. Oh well. As Simon and Garfunkel once said, “Coo-coo-ka-choos.”