A recent Louis Harris survey found that 96 percent of college students want to marry or have already married.
Meanwhile, 97 percent agreed with the statement “having close family relationships is a key to happiness.” Despite the fact that a quarter of the U.S. adult population has been divorced, college students greatly desire to get married.
But how do young married couples balance the time-intensive demands of a college education while providing for the emotional and social needs of their spouse? According to two newlywed University couples, the key to maintaining a balance is planning for the future and serving each other. While both couples admit that marriage brings challenges and difficulties to life, the benefits greatly outweigh the bad.
John and Crystal McKay married on June 25 after a 10-month engagement. They decided to get married before they completed school because Crystal already had her degree and John only had two more terms to complete. Also, they both had consistent jobs and they
already had a place to live. They ensured the stability of their marriage before it happened.
“The one major change in my life since getting married is the fact that I now never have to say goodnight and leave Crystal. She is always with me, which I like,” said John.
The McKays dated for four and a half years and became best friends during this time. Each knowing how the other acted and responded to different situations was important to their decision to get engaged.
“The transition to marriage has been an absolute delight,” John said. “It is a good idea to date for a long time before getting married.”
According to John, marriage must be a top priority, and partners must be willing to do anything and everything for their spouses.
“You have to embrace the ultimate servant’s heart towards your spouse and hope that they take the same approach toward you. It really does bring the most joy out of marriage when you both completely take care of one another,” John said. “The minute you get selfish the joy and happiness goes right down the tube.”
“I actually think that being married in college is awesome, but I would recommend it with caution. If two people are ready then it actually makes a lot of sense,” John said.
Jason and Zo Tweksbury find themselves in a very different situation; Zo still has four and a half years left in school and Jason has more than five. They married on Sept. 10 of last year after a 22-month engagement. Jason is a part-time student and Zo is a full-time human physiology major who intends to attend grad school.
Being in school had nothing to do with their ultimate decision to get married.
“We’re in love and it was the right time,” Zo said.
Life hasn’t changed much for the Tweksburys since getting married. “We certainly don’t see each other enough, but we knew that was the way it would be long before we married,” said Zo. “It’s all about time management. When you have time to study, study hard so that it doesn’t interfere later. When you have time to play, play without worries.”
The Tweksburys make sure that they take care of each other’s needs. Jason cleans their apartment so that Zo has time to study and Zo tries to finish her work quickly and efficiently so that she has time to spend with Jason.
“Marriage in school is feasible as long as you have a plan to begin with. I would have a few more choices if I wasn’t married, but I couldn’t imagine not being married. It was the best choice of my life,” said Zo. “If a couple truly does love each other, then there really isn’t a difference between being married, engaged or dating.”