Former Oregon pole vault and decathlon athlete Jon Derby made sure his timing and execution were perfect on Nov. 26, 2006.
The site of his evening event was at Shore Acres State Park in Coos Bay for the 21st annual Holiday Light Show.
But not one single competitor was present.
Instead, his longtime girlfriend faced him. Derby’s task was no longer to clear a bar or beat a mark.
It was to ask Oregon lacrosse junior midfielder Jen May to marry him.
“I was sweating bullets, quite honestly,” Derby said.
Three years earlier, May, a bubbly freshman lacrosse player from Maryland, met Derby through mutual friends at an Athlete’s in Action campus ministry called Cross Training Worship.
“He had this thing for me and asked me out,” May said. “So we started hanging out my freshman year.”
And on that cold Sunday night last year in November, the two were in the Coos Bay area enjoying the show and celebrating life just days after Thanksgiving. Sitting near a white gazebo, Derby played his guitar as some of their close friends sang Christmas songs. Amidst the glow of the lights, Derby vaulted right into May’s heart as he performed a song and proposed to her.
The song, “Grow Old With You,” was used by Adam Sandler to wow Drew Barrymore in the movie “The Wedding Singer.” And that night, it worked in Oregon, too.
“It was a big relief,” Derby, 24, said. “She was crying pretty hard. I put the ring on her before she could say no. We then reviewed the footage and saw she said yes.”
The couple is getting married July 6 in Edgewater, Md., right across from the high school May attended.
Love and Lacrosse
The time and effort May and Derby invest in each other is done out of love, May said. Though the two agreed that lacrosse doesn’t compare to a lifelong commitment together, May said that many of the same ingredients that go into a successful relationship help to strengthen a team.
“It takes a hundred percent devotion and energy to make a relationship work,” May said. “I guess it parallels lacrosse and the team because everyone is just as dedicated.”
May’s relationship with Oregon lacrosse has been a passionate and determined one. Her deep-rooted bond with the Ducks has driven her to pour nearly every ounce of herself into making sure that Oregon gets better each year, and she’s accomplished that: At 11-6 overall, the Ducks eclipsed the program record for most wins in a season this year and earned their highest conference tournament seed ever as the No. 2 seed for this season’s tournament.
May said that investment to improve has been made from a desire to be the best. It’s taken dedication, the fortitude to push through the good and bad moments, and time – lots of time.
May and her teammates spend about four hours in practice five times per week together and more in the air traveling to matches. She has found time for both the Ducks and Derby, though. And instead of feeling jealousy over who gets more with May – he or lacrosse – Derby said that as a former Div. I athlete, he encourages her to thrive within her commitment to Oregon.
“I ran track so I completely understand the demands of being a D-1 athlete and the demands that come along with it,” said Derby, who graduated last year from Oregon after pole vaulting for four years.
May, a Davidsonville, Md. native, has scored 21 goals and 17 assists for 38 points so far this season, as well as 26 draws, 35 forced turnovers and 37 draw controls. Oregon stands at 11-6 overall and 4-1 in the Mountain Pacific Sports Federation. The team’s three-year anniversary at the MPSF Tournament is this weekend.
Derby is driving to the tournament’s host school at UC Davis in Davis, Calif., with some friends to watch the Ducks compete. Oregon will await the winner of the first round game between No. 6-seed Saint Mary’s and No. 3-seed Stanford.
“She’s ready to go,” Derby said.
Coach Jen Larsen said the team has improved each year because of the leadership of players like May.
“We are just competitive,” Larsen said. “Each year we get better, practices get better, and I’m always gonna search for even more improvement. I know these players, like Jen May, are doing the same thing every match because they know that time is limited and, finishing out her third year and going into her fourth, she is gonna be turning it on even more.”
In her first year at Oregon, May concluded the season as the Ducks’ scoring leader after netting 42 goals and making 11 assists. She was named the MPSF Newcomer of the Year and made the All-Conference Team as the fourth best points scorer in the conference.
In 2006, May was the Ducks’ second-leading scorer with 43 points off 28 goals and 15 assists. She was first in draw controls (50) and tied for first in forced turnovers (34). May was awarded with a spot on the MPSF All-Conference Team and tied the school record for most goals in a match when she nailed six against California in that year’s conference tournament.
“She is able to put her actions behind what she really wants,” Larsen said.
Some of May’s numbers have actually tapered off slightly each year as more talent has arrived, but her dedication to the team has never wavered. Junior teammate Kate Fleming said May is irreplaceable because she will cheer on her teammates all match long and still have enough energy to score the game-winning goal.
“She’s probably been the biggest asset to the team,” Fleming said. “Our freshman year, she led us in almost every statistical category. She was our age, but she was our leader. She was like an upperclassman to us.
“She is always just all over the place. She’ll have your back, she communicates with everyone on the field well and she connects with every single person.”
And May prefers to do all this on the field – not as a spectator. She suffered a concussion against Stanford and was back a week later to aid in Oregon’s 12-6 win against UC Davis.
“I tried to take it slow (after the injury),” May said. “That was the best remedy for me. But I didn’t want to miss any games.”
She said she even gets anxious while waiting to get substituted back into matches. The reason: “I want to win all the time,” May said.
“Of course I want to be on the field because I know I can contribute my energy and vision,” May said. “I can’t imagine sitting on the sideline. All I need is a breather and then I’m ready to go 100 percent.”
In practice, May’s commitment to the squad has helped set the foundation for the Ducks’ future generation of midfielders. May said she tries to help freshmen, including Meaghan Flerlage and Celeste Mayer, develop by keeping the intensity high in intrasquad competitions.
“It is only by practicing hard and making them see what they would see in a match that we will make them better,” May said.
“She has shown them what it takes to be on the field,” Larsen said. “And she’s shown a really high standard. She doesn’t play lower and expects those players to elevate their play with her.”
After three seasons that have each yielded proud moments and progress, May said she believes her teammates understand what she’s all about.
“I’m here to win and I want to be number one,” May said. “I want to be Northwestern in four years. Who doesn’t want to be on top?”
With all her aspirations on the field, May has a few off the field as well. She’s applying for graduate school, finishing up her undergraduate work, participating in church activities and, of course, helping plan the wedding.
Though it’s sheer chaos at times, May said coming to Eugene was a perfect choice.
“Jon and I wouldn’t have crossed paths if I hadn’t come to Oregon,” May said.
May’s style on the field is a good omen for her upcoming marriage, her fiancé said.
“She is a big-time team player, and that is why I feel our marriage will be successful,” Derby said.