That’s not mine
A Florida man was taken into custody Wednesday for illegally smuggling cocaine and marijuana between his butt cheeks. Raymond Stanley Roberts said, “The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is.” Roberts denied the cocaine residing in his butt cheeks was his. Roberts was pulled over for speeding, and when the officers smelled marijuana they began to search his possessions. Roberts was put in jail after cops found a bag of marijuana and cocaine. Roberts has redefined idiot drug dealers. We’re sure many who have been in the business for years are more than ashamed.
Eye glue?
Who would’ve guessed the stupid could get any dumber. Last Friday, an Arizona woman instinctively reached for one of her various bottles of eyes drop to soothe her eyes. Upon application, the woman realized the solution she reached for was not eye drops but glue. Before the woman could get to the sink to wash it out, the glue hardened, sealing her eye shut. The woman drove to the hospital, where staff cut off the hardened glue. No major damage was done. Maybe the woman will learn to look with both eyes next time she uses eye drops.
Geocaching is a blast
Geocaching, which can best be described as a scavenger hunt with a GPS, can be a real blast. Luckily for a Coos Bay man, it wasn’t when he found an improvised explosive devise. Last Monday morning, the man found what looked like a pipe bomb on a sand dune on the North Spit. The bomb was inspected by a Coos County Sheriff’s deputy and the Oregon State Police Bomb Squad, who confirmed the object was an IED and disabled it that evening.
Deal hunting, grave robbing
Mitchell and Judith Fletcher, a retired couple in Hillsborough County, Fla., like searching for deals at yard sales, but were less than thrilled when they found out the box of bones Mitchell Fletcher purchased for Halloween decorations were the real thing. The Fletchers called the Hillsborough County Sheriff, who brought the bones to a medical examiner. The examiner determined the set of bones, which cost Fletcher $8, was from a professionally prepared human anatomy skeleton similar to those used in anatomy classes. Because of Florida state law, the Fletchers won’t be using the bones for decorations. The bones are estimated to be worth more than $3,000.
Clogging the pipes
During the Commonwealth Games in New Dehli, India, athletes have been given condoms for free as part of a program to promote safe sex. Apparently, they’re being put to use. Out of the 4,000 two-condom packages available to the 7,000 athletes, half of them were reported to have already been used. They were used so frequently that the condoms ended up clogging the plumbing in the athletes’ village. Wow. How’s that for getting busy?