Have you checked in on your relationships recently?
The relationships of our lives can be so plentiful that sometimes, we forget to check in on the connections we care the most about. Humans discuss, create, maintain, mend and conclude relationships constantly, each day. We have relationships with our classmates, family members, romantic interests, roommates, baristas, co-workers, ourselves. But what about the ever changing, inevitable and universally shared relationship we have with the rest of the planet?
What I really want to ask is, have you checked in on your relationship with the earth?
Answering questions about our relationships with the living world may feel a little funny, shameful, or entirely ridiculous. You’re not alone. Collecting the 411 on how mother earth and you are doin’ will be an intricate process, but it could change the world.
It’s important to note that looking into your relationship with life on earth doesn’t have to feel so… mystical. Think of it as an extension of ecology; the study of relationships through the lens of biology. Ecology encompasses both the relationships between organisms and the relationships organisms share with their environment. The word ecology itself is derived from the Greek word oikos, meaning home. In examining your relationship with the plants and organisms on earth, you’re just studying your relationship with your natural home.
As Robin Wall Kimmerer explains in her book, Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge, and the Teachings of Plants, the true holders of knowledge are the ancient plants and organisms of our earth. Robin Wall Kimmerer is a professor of environmental biology, she is an expert of moss (known as a bryologist), she writes extensively about the native ways of understanding ecology, explores the application of native restoration practices in ecology, and is a member of the Citizen Potawatomi Nation––among other things.
These plants and organisms Kimmerer suggests we point our attention to have provided an abundant sanctuary for humanity throughout human history, not to mention our ecosystem has hosted countless lifeforms for millions of years prior to us. Our home on earth is full of beauty, unexplainable complexity, flavor, nutrients––life. These ancient life sources of the earth teach us how to “do” life every day. As Kimmerer writes, many of the answers to existing harmoniously with the living world are found at the intersection of scientific discovery and ancient wisdom. On page 58, Kimmerer says, “We don’t have to figure out everything by ourselves: there are intelligences other than our own, teachers all around us. Imagine how much less lonely the world would be.”
Forget adulting, maybe it’s time to consider how harvesting produce teaches a lesson of patience, or how the bird migrations that come with the passing seasons prove how we can adapt in face of uncontrollable changes. The sentiment gone with the wind is woven throughout Braiding Sweetgrass to point to the fundamental impermanence and fleeting nature of life. The lessons taught by plants have been understood for generations because they are lessons that are endlessly unfolding in front of us, proving to pass the test of time, if we ever choose to notice their lesson.
Contrary to the nature of the relationships we developed with the world in the wake of colonialism and western ideologies, humanity cannot sustain the gifts given from earth if we treat our gifts as expendable resources, meant for our ownership. This means no forests, fresh water, delicious foods, beautiful flowers, wandering animals, arctic glaciers, the list goes on. The laws of nature can’t be shaped for humanity, no matter how clever or powerful we think we’ve become.
What we need is to take a little relationship advice from mother nature; a lesson founded on reciprocity. Like any healthy, sustained relationship, when we actively practice respect, gratitude, and generosity we receive the same qualities in return. If we choose not to practice reciprocity in a relationship, those on the other side grow tired and depleted; and we risk losing the relationship entirely. Currently, I suggest humanity is facing the latter in our relationship with earth.
By asking critical questions about the role you play within the ecosystem, our home, you accept the unique responsibility you have in contributing to the well-being of all life forms. Is your relationship with the ecosystem maintained to share your stories and to resolve your problems? Do you care to listen to the stories and fix the problems of your ecosystem in return? Do you express gratitude in your relationships with the living world, or maybe you take the gifts from the natural world for granted. Maybe you neglect to say thank you or you forget to extend your own hand in generosity. Are you patient enough to learn from the history and wisdom of your living home?
If we listen to the lessons outlined in the wisdom of indigenous stories and in the wisdom of the natural world, we will learn that everything we do infinitely disseminates into the environment. Buying more local food becomes an intentional step towards maintaining a healthy community. Expressing gratitude for the gifts of the natural world becomes a way to reach deep fulfillment. And most crucially, giving back to the earth becomes a way of promising a relationship with our home for generations to come.
When you want to strengthen an interpersonal relationship you practice listening to the other person selflessly. You might respond by asking questions, or you find out how you can help. When you want to harness a deeper understanding in your relationship, you learn how to pay your full attention. If you point your ears towards the calls of our ecosystem, you may find that the world communicates just the same. So take some time with the relationship that needs you the most. What good are all the rest if we don’t have a home to come back to?
