Student advocacy group OSPIRG hired persuasive genius Vince Offer aka “the ShamWow! Guy” to aid its members in their fight for $117,000 of student money. The 46-year-old has been enlisted as Head Advertising and Annoyance Advocate, a new position made just for Offer.
“OSPIRG can make your tuition cheaper, your books more affordable, and your environment safer … for only $116,999.95,” Offer said, while chasing a confused freshman through the EMU. “BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!”
Offer made an appearance at the ACFC hearing, offering free Shamwow! towels to any ACFC member who would vote for OSPIRG, and free jumbo Shamwow! towels to the group should they approve it.
“We aren’t a lobbying group,” said OSIPRG Board Chair Charles Denson. “We’re lobbyists for an advocate group, trying to lobby for money so that PIRG lobbyists can lobby in Washington.”
Offer has been working out commercial contracts with Duck U, where he will run commercials throughout their shows talking about how OSPIRG was “made by the Germans; you know Germans always make great stuff.”
“Vince Offer clearly believes in the power of the student voice and the importance of our input into the American political system,” Denson said. “$117,000 is a low price for a voice in our system.”
“Couldn’t we just lobby in Salem ourselves?” said new OSPIRG-member John Walter at a secret OSPIRG roundtable discussion.
“No,” responded Denson. “We’re not a lobbying group, remember?”
Offer has been offered a $100,000 contract to lead OSPIRG’s marketing strategy in its fight for funding, which has stirred up many questions.
“If we pay Offer $100,000 to lead us to get our funding, doesn’t that just leave us $17,000 to fund ourselves?” Walter said.
It was then that Charles Denson and Katie Taylor kicked Walter out of the roundtable discussion — they saw the beer Kool-Aid man emblem on his left wrist.
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