Dear Nat: I have been dating my out-of-state boyfriend for a year. There is a girl in his hometown who he had a crush on throughout high school, and he keeps in regular contact with her. He says they are just friends, but recently, she has developed an attraction to him. I feel threatened and worried she will try to steal him! What can I do?

–Troubled Girlfriend
Dear Troubled: Let’s see, the girl has a bad case of “I want what I can’t have,” your beau’s caught a “Women can’t get enough of me” bug, and you’re suffering from a “Get off my man! Hiss!” virus. Every guy deserves female friends,
but this scenario sounds suspicious. I don’t blame you for wanting to bear your claws.
Since your boyfriend is not a marionette attached to strings and cannot be pulled in any direction you wish, I’m afraid verbal communication is the only option for change to occur. Tell him that the time he spends with this girl makes you feel unstable in your relationship and request he cut ties with her.
And if he doesn’t comply? Then you have a choice. Stay in a relationship that gives you headaches, or give it up until a better one comes along. Warning: By choosing to stay, you have no right to complain every time you feel a pang. Personally, if a guy knows his actions are hurting his girl and he makes no effort to change them, I see a big, bright, fire-engine red flag rippling
in the wind. So don’t be disillusioned
— read the signals!
Dear Nat: I have a friend who is a terrible singer. Unfortunately, she enjoys to sing along loudly to CDs in my car. She is aware of her impairment, but continues to sing while I drive because she sees me as her only friend who will tolerate it! In truth, I’ve been waiting for the car window to break every time she opens her mouth! How can I shut her up without hurting her feelings?

–A Friend With Aching Ears
Dear Friend: There are a number of strategies you can use when you get in the car with her. Turn off the music and begin a deep conversation. Choose songs your friend has never heard before and “lose” those CDs once she learns the words. Announce you would prefer if no one sang in your car in order to hear the artists’ voices clearly.
Or, instead of timidly hinting at quieting her, you could save her feelings and let it go. A friendship is not worth ending over a minor character flaw, so when you get behind the wheel, hold your breath, maintain your tolerant-friend status and let her sing. Hopefully your friendship takes place outside of the car as well, where you can put her off-tune notes out of your mind.
Dear Nat: Do you think dropping out of college and looking for a job with my high school degree is a good choice?

–Wondering
Dear Wondering: Fabulous! Go for it! I’ll do you a favor and answer the next question you’ll be asking me in advance: Yes, I would like fries with that!