It’s the season of love, and one of Hallmark’s favorite holidays is upon us. Hated by most or celebrated by many, Valentine’s Day seems to be a moot point for those without a significant other.
But the notion that romantic gestures must be from one person to another is outdated. In the young adult era of independence and self-discovery, the most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself.
In 2012, when author Christine Arylo published her best-selling novel, “Madly in Love with Me,” Feb. 13 was deemed as Self-Love Day.
Ancient Greeks considered self-love or philautia to be one of the six varieties of love. Popularized in the 60s during the hippie era, society’s definition of self-love has evolved and become more prevalent as mental health and wellbeing comes to the forefront of human issues.
“Self-love is valuable to me because it means that I’m considering my own well being as much as other people and putting the things that make me happy as a priority,” Claire Conger, a sophomore journalism major at University of Oregon, said.
Emma Seppälä, Ph.D., author, Yale lecturer and emotional intelligence expert, defines self-love as “treating ourselves as we would a friend. Rather than berating, judging, or adding to a friend’s despair, we listen with empathy and understanding, encourage them to remember that mistakes are normal, and validate their emotions without adding fuel to the fire.”
Seppälä cites the benefits of self-love as increased productivity, decreased stress and overall boosted mental strength. These things can lead to other positive outcomes such as better sleep, better grades, better relationships and increased job opportunities.
Self-love can be practiced in a multitude of ways depending on individual preference. From daily affirmations to meditation to buying yourself a little treat, rituals performed with the intention to appreciate oneself will reap the benefits of self-love.
For those dreading spending Valentine’s Day alone this year, Self-Love Day is your silver lining. There is no rule that prohibits buying roses and Russell Stover for yourself after all.
In the spirit of Self-Love Day, we asked UO students what they do to take care of themselves.
Conger said she practices self-love by simply spending time with herself. “I like to wake up a little bit early so I can have a coffee and just sit and enjoy the day before I have to do stuff,” Conger said.
Sebastian Duffy, a senior political science major at UO, said he journals and practices creative expression as a self-love ritual to “get my feelings in order.”
Angela Hernandez, a junior at UO, said she prioritizes self-care. “I try to go to the gym or even just watch a movie and do a face mask, something so simple as that can really help to take away stress,” Hernandez said.
While Self-Love Day was created with the intention to counteract Valentine’s day, it is not exclusive to those who are single and it is not limited to Feb. 13. Self-love is an ongoing practice, a process that takes time to adapt and may feel awkward at first, but creates a lasting positive internal relationship.
