Opinion: UO students need to prioritize their mental health before relationships
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In the microcosm of college life, students are inundated with so much it can seem hard to prioritize what is most important: their mental health.
How many times this week have you come across a situation or person who tested your abilities to remain grounded? Maybe it was someone who cut you off in traffic. Maybe it was a friend who made a comment that crossed your boundaries. Or perhaps it was a roommate you just cannot find the grace to get along with.
What these situations have in common is that you cannot always evade them, and they can be overstimulating to the point where you find it hard to think straight. You may find it hard to breathe when you think about the situation or hard to find the stillness and silence needed to forge a sense of control.
But that’s just it, isn’t it? Control. You cannot control these situations. You cannot control what others do or say, or what happens to you when you walk the street or drive to work. So much of this is outside of your control.
But, what you can control is your behavior — how you react to a situation. You can control who you allow to get close to you socially, and what thoughts take hold of you and influence your world. Your mental health should be your first priority, because without it everything else runs the risk of collapse.
This week, I asked a group of random students, on campus and off, what they feel like they prioritize most. Out of attainment of success, relationships, physical health or mental health, most students chose relationships, with mental health coming in second but considerably lower than relationships.
This dichotomy I believe represents the problem behind why we hear the saying “protect your peace,” so much now. This is a saying that has been disseminated through social media platforms, podcasts, and among friends of this generation. And with all the tumult in our lives these days, you simply can’t afford not to do it. You cannot expect to be a good friend, colleague or partner without prioritizing your mental health first.
Samantha Nussbaum, an advisor at the University of Oregon School of Journalism and Communication, talks to UO students on a regular basis. She helps them craft school schedules, listens to them share how they feel going to the UO for the first time and at other times listens to them speak about their mental health.
“Your mental health is not worth sacrificing for any reason,” Nussbaum said. “Focus on getting to know yourself and prioritize people who don’t expect you to be anything other than yourself.”
I believe what Nussbaum said here is true. We put so much stock into what other people say to us or into the pressures we experience that it adds undue stress to our already busy and chaotic lives. Protect your peace. Prioritize mental health. When you do this first, you can then expect to fully participate in the relationships you have as the most full and healed version of yourself.
You determine who the people you keep around are. You choose whether you give combativeness or give nothing but stillness and peace.
Don’t put pressure on yourself to fit into a version of yourself that ultimately doesn’t serve you. Take action and do the work to get to know yourself. Drive down to the coast, work on that project you have been putting off, go to the theaters with someone or with no one at all. Try sobriety if it is the cleanse you have been looking for. Set aside some time every day to sit in the solace of solitude and listen to your body. Breathe deeply through the stillness.
Lastly, I always suggest therapy as a tool to help bolster the “protect your peace” attitude. Therapy is a gift anyone can benefit from — consider this. Rebound and recollect the parts of you that feel distorted from the outside noise. Then and only then can you begin to be a better friend to others and to yourself.