Our treacherous, 10-week journey of The Bachelor just wouldn’t be complete without the anticlimactic, three-hour long season finale.
Our bachelor brought the two final ladies, Whitney and Becca, back to Arlington to meet his family for the first time — the final step in deciding who would be the future Mrs. Chris Soules.
Saying everything his family wanted to hear during a lunch toast that left the entire table in tears, Whitney collected hearts faster than a game of Bejeweled.
Becca’s afternoon in Arlington, however, was different. The gaping holes in her conversations with Chris, his mom and his sisters, were obvious. Emotionally, she wasn’t there. But who can blame her? She hardly knew the man, let alone spent time with him away from the cameras and producers.
This show is notorious for cranking out new couples that break up months later because they truly don’t know one another. After the cameras turn off and the Bali dinner dates are over, reality steps in, shining unforgiving light on their differences.
Becca was respected by fans because she wanted to be with Chris, but not necessarily rush into marriage, move to Arlington or have babies immediately, as Whitney was blatantly prepared to do.
The proposal took place in a barn that looked more like a decked-out Anthropologie store, as Chris said, “This is the same barn I raised my first pig in.” Lovely.
Chris let Becca go, as if it was a surprise, and she didn’t even shed a tear.
In the words of Jimmy Kimmel on After The Rose, “She obviously wasn’t into you, dude.”
Chris proposed to Whitney with a cushion cut Neil Lane diamond ring (the real “final rose”), as we all wondered how she would maintain those highlights in her new hometown — Arlington doesn’t even have a coffee shop.
Ending the canoodling and sappy dialogue just in time (another second and we were all going to lose it), the camera panned out on the newly engaged couple, sitting on the windowsill of the rustic barn, gazing off into the Midwest sunset, of course.
After The Rose immediately followed, which is usually the time viewers wash their wine glasses and take a pee break.
But in a shocking twist, the last five minutes of this segment were used to announce that there would be two bachelorettes next season, and one will be sent home after the first night.
The audience reacted angrily to having both Britt and Kaitlyn be the bachelorette — it was embarrassing for the show’s producers (and generally for everyone involved).
The 25 male contestants will choose the next bachelorette on May 18, when the next season of this so-bad-it’s-good show returns to ABC.
Until then, let the bets on Chris’ and Whitney’s relationship shelf life commence, though the drama may be hard to follow in Arlington, where only the farm animals know what goes on behind closed doors.

I think Chris should have just taken his chances on “Farmers Only” #TheBachelor
— Julie Alexandria (@JulieAlexandria) March 10, 2015

“Imma let you finish but Sean and Catherine had the best proposal of all time” #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/qVKk2rduTe
— Mal Marrs (@marrzbarrz) March 10, 2015

I think we all know who Chris should really pick tonight..