Technology has performed extremely remarkable acts since the beginning of time. There was the invention of the wheel, the automobile, getting man to the moon and cell phones with the capabilities of computers. But nothing compares with what has just been unleashed. An app that will revolutionize life as we know it: Perfect365.
Perfect365 is currently the number one photo app and for good measure. It allows users to add digital makeup to their selfies as well as retouch them. Yes, you read that right. Never again will you need to spend hours perfecting your makeup or skin for the perfect selfie because this incredible app will do all of that for you. Pimple on your chin from too much junk food? Perfect365 will erase it. Bags under your eyes from late-night studying? Perfect365 clears those up in less than a second. Face too pale from locking yourself inside for months? Perfect365 adds a sun kissed tan native to constant beachgoers.
Now I’m sure you’re wondering what a miracle such as this must cost. Absolutely nothing. This gift from God himself is free. Anyone with a cell phone may download this treasure. Even the Kardashians/Jenners use it. And they’re practically royalty. The selfie game has been forever changed now that the average Joe and Jane have the capabilities to look as good as the rich and famous.
Anyone can now spend hours upon hours adding different makeup looks and hairstyles to themselves in the comfort of their own home. You might as well quit your job or drop out of school because after using this app your life will be forever changed. Modeling agencies will call begging for you to sign to them, European royalty will ask for your hand in marriage, money will fall from the sky and straight into your bank account.
Some haters may argue that penicillin, the Internet or the sewage system are some of the greatest inventions of all time. Well they’re wrong. Perfect365 is clearly the greatest invention of all time. What would we do if we could not make our selfies the best they could possibly be? Where would we be if we didn’t have the ability to change the things we hate about ourselves? We are only as good as our selfies.
In 2015, social media presence is of the utmost importance. The only way to make a good impression is to make sure to have as many pictures of you by yourself as possible. The candid is so last year, pictures with family and friends are a waste of time, and don’t even think about posting anything that doesn’t have your face in it. If you’re making a funny face or not taking the selfie seriously then you might as well delete your Instagram or Twitter. The only picture that matters anymore is the one where you look as perfect as possible.
Perfect365 does all the work for you. You can spend that precious time keeping track of who is — and most importantly who isn’t — liking your flawless photo. Likes are synonymous to money in today’s society and as precious and powerful as gold. Our worth is measured in likes, favorites and retweets. Make sure you get as many as possible because they are all that matter anymore. Perfect365 will help you elevate your worth. What else could you possibly need?
Ferguson: Perfect365, the greatest invention of all time
Alysha Ferguson
April 2, 2015
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