“We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit … (These) pro-America areas of this great
nation.” – Gov. Sarah Palin, Greensboro, N.C., Oct. 16, 2008.
We have a little saying around my house: “God, I HATE Sarah Palin!” If you’re wondering why my roommates and I react so negatively to such a cute, homey, seemingly-friendly mother of five, it’s because of this sort of thing: Since when is it a crime to not be from a small town?
It seems a recurring theme in this election has been the common, salt-of-the-Earth goodness of small-town Americans. For the past few months, the GOP candidates have attempted appealing to the masses by touting their rural backgrounds in contrast to their Democratic opponents, whom they uniformly paint as hedonistic city slickers with no morals and a general hatred of kittens. In retaliation, the Democrats have dredged up their own small-town street cred. What had once been an election has become a heated debate over whose hometown has fewer traffic lights. You know who was born in a small town? Ted Bundy, the infamous serial killer. Timothy McVeigh called a small town in upstate New York his home. Hitler was from a town of less than 16,000 people – of course, that town wasn’t in America, so perhaps that’s why he went astray. I could elaborate; there are lots of small towns, and I guarantee you every one of them has produced at least a few stinkers. Abraham Lincoln, Andrew Carnegie and Jesus were also from small towns – this disparity suggests that judging people by the size of the town they were born in makes about as much sense as judging them based on the color of their skin.
I grew up in Salem, a town of 150,000 – perhaps not a small town by all definitions. But Palin referred to Greensboro, N.C., home to some 250,000 people, as small, so I imagine I’m even more pro-America than everyone she was talking to that day. This is interesting, given that I am an anti-war atheist who frequently refers to our commander in chief as a “motherfucker.” My friend, Mike, who has refused to vote in previous elections due to his outright lack of faith in all candidates, is even more pro-America than I because he’s from Medford, with its population of 75,000. His girlfriend, who frequently smokes an herbal substance classified as illegal by our government, is the most pro-America of all of us because she’s from Grants Pass, home to 30,000 of the most patriotic small-town folks you’ll ever meet.
I don’t think the best of America is in the small towns. I also don’t think the best of America is in the big cities. I think the best of America is in America. And I think a candidate seeking to reunite a country ideologically divided by eight years of mismanagement would do well to stop playing its citizens against one another.
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