Prior to my freshman year of college, I was naive enough to think it would be fun to have two guys vying for my attention at once. A little modern- day romantic drama never hurt anyone, right? My dreams werecrushed when I was unsuspectingly thrust into the reality of a love triangle. By definition, a love triangle is not a synonym for “ménage a trois,” but an elaborate way to describe a relationship where “two people love a third and the third happens to have feelings for both of them.” While this unique experience did incite some excitement, the end result was that I hurt everyone involved.
At that time my love life seemed to be a mess. I had just broken up with my boyfriend and was ridden with guilt about some poor decisions that I’d made. I was young, na’ve, lost and confused;willing to stumble over and crush the feelings of others as I attemptedto sort out my own. The story did not turn out to be a “happily ever after,” except that maybe I’ll know better next time.
In my experience, triangular relationships of any kind rarely prove successful. When triangles are built withfeelings, the end result is often a sticky, gooey mess akin to being dumped in a vat of KY Jelly. Whilebeing a prize in the game of love may seem exhilarating, the reality is that when all is said and done, you’ll be left alone to wash the gooeyness off yourself.
Regardless, I am not going to tell you how to live your life. If you’ve always wanted to experience a love triangle, it is neccesary to use plenty of tact. There are rules to everything and there are rules to successfully having a love triangle. While I am not condoning cheating (please experiment with love triangles prior to making any serious commitments) here are some tips that may make the ride a little smoother
-“Friends Are A No Go”: After a while, we all know everyone somehow (the friend of a friend of a friend scenario), therefore as often as you can, try to avoid people with too much in common- these include friends, members of the same team or family members of the same Greek house.
– “Spread the Love”: If you can, avoid people that live in the same state or go to the same school. That way, if it doesn’t work out with one of them, there’s a good possibility that you won’t see them. Unless of course you picked the one that doesn’t go to your school, be prepared for awkward meetings in random places.
-“Go Undercover”: Use two different phones, erase all Internet history, delete any suspicious text messages, and don’t take calls from one of them if you’re on a date with the other. That sounds like a lot of work, not to mention a lot of money where the second phone is concerned.
-“The Swap”: If you attempt this scenario, allow enough time in between the two to freshen up and to avoid the awkward meeting at the door between the two innocent, unsuspecting parties.
Those tips aside, if you’re trying to achieve success in love, I recommend monogamous relationships (seriously, it won’t take long for the secretive swapping to get old). Also, allow me to say that cheating is never condoned. On the other hand, a little experimentation never hurt anybody; just try to do it in a way where as few people as possible get hurt. Keep in mind that while it may seem fun, it will likely result in disaster. So my last piece of advice for this week is to take risks. Take a lot of them. I’m just warning you to be prepared to fall on your face.
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