I must begin by apologizing to two of my creative contemporaries for publicizing the following concept – a concept that we have been collaborating on for the better half of a decade now. But I figure that some publicity is necessary. So join me as I discuss the future of the University: an all-yurt university.
Surely you all know what a yurt is. Its origin goes back thousands of years to the nomads in Central Asia who first constructed the design. Since the 1960s, however, American entrepreneurs have westernized the design with hi-tech materials that withstand severe weather and marketed them as vacation getaways, snazzy backyard abodes and, now, permanent houses, churches and more. My first yurt experience was at a tie-dye party at the residence of my high school English teacher, yearbook advisor and good friend Don Witten. The circular frame and dome roof looked cool from the outside, but the peaceful ambiance did not hit me until I stepped inside. The lattice walls infused an open and welcoming mood; natural light illuminated the fine decor via a large, round sunroof, not to mention the comforting fact that timeouts were impossible in the corner-less room.
The average manufactured yurt is around 20 feet in diameter and could comfortably sit a class of 30 or so. The proposal on the table, however, is not a scatter of yurt classrooms on campus, in between pre-existing buildings. That would be a semi-yurt university. I propose the University be razed of all it has and replaced with an all-yurt one. Pete, a nice fellow from Pacific Yurts Inc. out of Cottage Grove, a leading manufacturer of yurts, told me the largest yurt they make is 30 feet in diameter so that buyers, without any construction experience, can easily assemble the structures on their own. However, these structures can go big. Some companies, like Oregon Yurts in Eugene, are creating all wood structures based on the same principals of durable fabric-walled basic yurts. By using bigger and strong materials, who knows how big yurts can get; as big as an arena?
Think of the publicity, the audacity and the modern advancement of humankind that the University and the Athletic Department would achieve if they built a yurt arena. The financial benefits, for one, would be huge. A 30-foot yurt costs about $10,000. Now multiply by 850 (about a 600,000 square foot arena), and you have an $8.5 million price tag; a bit less than the proposed $170 million. Plus, yurts are proven to be highly energy efficient; now that’s good for the environment.
The success and achievement of the yurt stadium would set a precedent that could spiral across University grounds. A yurt recreation center would cut down running costs. The peaceful nature of yurts could curtail the accumulation of whine in the Student Union, and wine could be enjoyed, for us with alcohol love affairs, in a yurt tavern. Johnson Hall yurt, a yurt library and yurt dormitories could all be included.
Cutting costs, saving the environment and instilling a serene mood campus wide are all great benefits. On top of this, however, I believe an all-yurt University could be strategically designed to communicate with extra terrestrials. An aerial view of a yurt with diverging yurt hallways into adjoining yurts appears eerily similar to crop circles laid down by visitors to Earth. This makes me wonder what the objectives of the good people at Pacific Yurts Inc. and Oregon Yurts really are.
Soon I will be able to investigate this more, as I will be attending the 8th Annual Alien Daze, the second largest festival for extraterrestrial activity in the nation (put on by McMenamins), on Friday and Saturday in McMinnville.
It will undoubtedly be weird.
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