“One hundred Chicken McGrills served” just doesn’t have the same ring to it as the old hamburger slogan of McDonald’s. It’s ironic that a company that prides itself on the number of hamburgers served is now trying to add as many non-hamburger options as possible to the menu.

The change has come around for the same reason that most companies alter their strategy: lower profits. With a surge in the health-conscious portion of the population and a scare of mad cow disease, McDonald’s has decided to change its ways. There have been various lawsuits brought against “Mc-e-dee’s” in which people claim the restaurant is responsible for their obesity. And to top it off, the award-winning film “Super Size Me” was released, documenting the 25-pound weight gain of a man who ate three McDonald’s meals a day for a month.
Well, it seems it can’t get much worse, and by ‘it’ I’m referring to the food at McDonald’s, not its situation. As I’ve grown up, I’ve watched the eatery go downhill, but it may have hit its low point when it announced the introduction of the adult Happy Meal.
I never go to McDonald’s for gourmet healthy food. It’s cheap, fast and the same low quality at every location. That’s the beauty of chain restaurants: You know what you’re getting. But the problem is, I don’t even recognize the menu at McDonald’s today.
As a child I loved to go for the Happy Meal. My parents’ attic is still full of my Happy Meal box collection. Today, children have to make do with a paper bag. All those toys I collected, which are also packed away, were discovered to be choking hazards, so the prize isn’t even as good as in the old days.
Did you ever like getting those McDonaldland cookies, shaped like Grimace and the Fry Guys? Gone. They’ve been replaced with desserts like Fruit ‘n Yogurt Parfaits and reduced-fat ice cream cones. Not to mention, Hamburglar and company have been replaced with Willie Munchright, a little Claymation boy who gives children healthy eating tips. For some reason, Grimace’s purple complexion never scared me, but Willie looks like a human and his purple skin makes me wonder if maybe he doesn’t need a little more sugar in his diet.
The merry-go-round, the Grimace you could jump inside and shake about and the Fry Guys you could ride on like rocking horses are all gone. Instead, ball pins and tunnels, all made of plastic, sit out front. You can’t help but be glad you were a child back in the days of loose safety standards.
Besides the loss of the iconic characters, the menu has lost some good items and has seen the arrival of some really bad ones. The apple pies are now baked instead of fried. . Then there was the addition of the McSalad Shaker. What a smart idea: Salad in a cup. I once witnessed a rather large construction worker eating one of these. He was trying extremely hard to shake the cup so that the salad dressing spread throughout, just like in the commercial. His violent actions made him look like one of those machines that shakes up paint at the hardware store. Talk about a healthy menu item. It has less fat, and you burn calories just preparing it!
Some people have criticized McDonald’s for offering mostly unhealthy food, and contend that the fast food giant has a responsibility for the health of its customers. It doesn’t take a lot of common sense to realize eating a Big Mac three times a day is probably not good for your health, but no one ever said people have common sense. Instead the message being sent is, “I am too stupid, too cheap and too lazy to drive anywhere else besides McDonald’s, so it needs to change, not me.” That’s a great manifesto to follow in life. Here’s another idea: Take responsibility for your own actions.
We have sold ourselves short in life and now are looking for someone else to blame. McDonald’s seems like the perfect scapegoat, and its way to react was to treat adults like children because that is how they are acting. Now it’ll be serving adult Happy Meals, complete with a salad, bottle of water, a toy (a pedometer that measures how many steps you walk) and an informational pamphlet promoting exercise. Well, are we all happy now?
Congress recently passed the “Cheeseburger Bill” prohibiting lawsuits against fast-food chains that claim they cause obesity. It is sad when the government has to start making laws because its citizens think they can (and do) sue if something doesn’t go their way. The fun of the playground and the Happy Meal toys is gone because of the threat parents will sue the restaurant if their child gets hurt. In reality, the greatest danger posed to a child at McDonald’s is probably getting hit by a car in the parking lot. Maybe we should just learn to be responsible for our children and our diet?
McDonald’s isn’t the same as it used to be. It’s unfortunate. In-N-Out Burger has stuck to the basic philosophy of serving hamburgers, fries and shakes. It has had great success, with Diet Coke being the healthiest thing on its menu, but unfortunately, McDonald’s went a different route. The last time I was “lovin’ it” at McDonald’s was when I saw Humongousize Fries on the menu in Texas. Things just aren’t how they used to be.