This weekend, 14-year-old Michelle Wie came within one putt of making the cut at a professional men’s tournament.
Umm, when I was 14, I was worried about pimples and why I suddenly liked girls. Maybe it’s something in the water these days, but everything’s happening faster and younger. I used to laugh at people who said, “These kids these days … “
But, man. These kids these days …
In China, pianist Li Yundi, now 22, was a pop icon at 18. And it’s not because he wears schoolgirl outfits and sings “Hit me baby one more time.” Yundi is supposed to be the best thing to happen to the piano since Mozart, another child prodigy. Yundi’s first album went platinum in Asia in 2001. I know Mozart never made an album, but you can bet he would crush Clay Aiken on the charts just like Yundi is now.
In Pennsylvania, 14-year-old Alia Sabur just enrolled in a doctoral program at Drexel University. She already got her undergraduate degree in applied math from Stony Brook University in New York. She
graduated summa cum laude. Most 14-year-olds can’t even say “summa cum laude.”
Doogie Howser, M.D., anybody?
And of course, in the alternate dimension that is the NBA, there’s LeBron James. He’s 19 and already has $200 million in the back of his Hummer H2. I couldn’t afford a toy Hummer! Seriously, Nieman Marcus sells a candy-stuffed toy Hummer for $55.
Then there’s Freddy Adu, who was selected first overall in the Major League Soccer SuperDraft on Friday and therefore anointed with the crown as “the future of American soccer.” Not that it’s much of a future to be anointed with, but still, good luck, buddy.
Imagine being “the next Michael Jordan” at 19. Or the “future of American soccer” at 14. Or a “graduate student” at 14. It boggles my mind more than “Boggle” the game. I mean, Michelle Wie has already almost reached the pinnacle of her profession! At 14!
Wie is often compared to Tiger Woods, himself a child prodigy. Woods is proof that the “child prodigy” thing can work out. Woods and Drew Barrymore. And Michael Jackson.
Well, maybe not Michael Jackson.
So I’ll just grab my cane and throw in my dentures. I’m getting old. The kids are getting younger. In my day, we never had these “child prodigies.” And we had to walk to school every day in the snow. Backwards uphill.
Kids these days.