I had an unusually hard time writing this column today.
After all, I’ve only got a few subjects to think about. Who could possibly write something interesting about the Super Bowl, Oregon’s loss to Arizona a few days ago, or the fact that the Blazers are sinking — and fast?
What about the fact that the Oregon women’s basketball team can’t seem to buy a win, and the fact that Arizona State — the most recent predator of the Duck — had as many Oregon natives on the team as Oregon did? That’s true, by the way.
Nope, couldn’t do it. Couldn’t bring myself to discuss who I think will win the Super Bowl. It’s not like it would matter anyway. The commercials are the only thing people really look forward to.
I know that’s what I’m going to watch the game for. I really do want to know what that cute little AFLAC duck is going to do. We should all be proud that the company has provided us with a mascot that is so close to home.
Nope, still couldn’t write about that.
I couldn’t think of anything intelligent to say on Oregon’s 24-point loss to Arizona. There were some positives, but mostly there were negatives. The Ducks will move on. Arizona will move on. They’ll meet again and there will be a different result.
Maybe.
The Oregon women’s basketball team is 2-7 in Pacific-10 Conference play. That speaks for itself.
So, what did I do? Well, I did the same thing any red-blooded American male who can’t think of a
column would do.
I turned on ESPN’s “SportsCenter.”
Ah, the last bastion of inspirational television. It’s a show like no other, and it’s on so often it doesn’t matter if you work the morning, afternoon or late shift. You just can’t miss it.
I’ve found myself inexplicably drawn to it since I first got cable TV when I was 11. I know why I watch — I just can’t figure out why I do it so often.
Lately, though, I’ve found myself shying away from the big show. I still watch, but not with the same gusto I once had. I can’t seem to keep the remote from clicking to Comedy
Central or Fox Sports Net.
It’s almost beginning to seem as though the show is becoming a caricature of itself, a cartoon that pushes the limits of respectability. Even though it’s always been known for its brash nature, the show seems to be mimicking its reality show brethren on the non-cable television channels.
The information is still fresh, and the analysts know what they’re talking about, but the next laugh always seems to be around the corner. The problem is, it’s becoming a
forced laugh.
I’m still waiting for the day when Stuart Scott makes a sock puppet
because, well, ratings suggest that males aged 8 to 15 prefer him to make an ass of himself than to actually present sports news in a clear and informative fashion.
Maybe it’s just that “SportsCenter” considers itself dominant over Fox. Maybe the show is trying to pull in new viewers. Maybe after 25 years there needs to be some things done to keep it fresh.
There’s a lot of maybes in there, and only the executives of the show really know what the answer is.
But in the meantime, give Dan Patrick some more air time, kick Scott off the show and bring back Keith Olbermann.
I’ll still be watching, but I am growing skeptical of the so-called worldwide leader in sports.
Bring back CNN/SI. Now that was a sports channel that had some gusto.
“SportsCenter,” for all its newfound issues, is still the best highlights show on the air today.
As Homer Simpson would say, “Ooh, ‘SportsCenter.’”
Now if I can just find that damn bag of pretzels.