Over the weekend I flew back home to attend my little brother’s high school graduation — four years after my own departure from high school and two weeks before I’d be wearing the robe and mortar board to ceremoniously mark the completion of my bachelor’s degree.
Even though it was my brother’s plans that relatives and other commencement guests were most concerned about, I couldn’t evade the questions about what I was going to be doing next. It’s a question I hate to answer, and my response was similar to the vague mumblings about “being a writer” that I had given four years ago. When persuaded into a more specific answer, I admitted that my current plans involve moving to New York City in about nine months, and boy did that get some eyeballs rolled in my direction.
It’s difficult to share with others your plans for the future, especially with those who are older because their response is often condescending. They seem to figure that the time they’ve spent living their lives makes them qualified to know how you should live yours.
I’m not denying that being older means having more life experience and a wiser perspective. However, I am saying that being wise can prevent you from taking risks, and, furthermore, knowledge gained in one lifetime doesn’t necessarily apply to another’s.
Going home is always a chance to re-examine the choices I’ve been making, to see if I am progressing into adulthood and developing my own identity, and this visit’s circumstances stressed the differences between who I was at 18 and who I am at 22 even more. As I watched my little brother sit and wait for his name to be called, I realized that the decision I had made — to take a risk and do something that made me uncomfortable — was the reason I have been able to accomplish and grow as much as I have. It’s hard enough to figure out what direction to move in your life without others trivializing what you want to do.
Moving across the United States to such an enormous city may seem a little foolish, but I know that it will be a way for me to keep on learning, even after leaving academia.