*Disclaimer: All facts in this article are completely satirical and fake, in light of April Fools’ Day.*

February brought me my first Lego set, with bouquets of flowers and succulents from my valentine. March passed, and my fiancé finally asked me the big question: Will you be my leprechaun? But today is April 1, and I know it was a fast-approaching holiday, but he still hasn’t asked me to be his fool.

We’re getting married this summer. How am I supposed to know he’s ready to be forever pranksters if he hasn’t even considered me foolish enough for the Fools’ day? The words “be my valentine” mean bupkis if I can’t also be his laughable, lovable comedienne.

So, I asked him my burning questions: “Do you find me foolish? We may have pranked around in the past, but are you ready to become exclusive pranksters?”

He started by saying the most dreadful statement I’ve ever heard: “I don’t find you very foolish.”

Ouch.

“But, it’s quite silly to me when you do your funny impressions and characters, such as Frank, your alter ego,” he said.

Ah, yes, my dear friend, Frank. He’s known in my household for his hit song “I’m Gonna Throw Some Meat at You (So Bee-dop, Bee-dop, Bee-dop Boo).” 

I tell others that Frank has passed away, but we all know that Frank will always live inside me, making me a true fool. My prospects for fool status are looking up. 

Though my fiancé, Jack, isn’t much of a pranker, he describes himself as more of an “observationalist” type of guy. This is likely why he respects my comedic prowess.

According to Jack, to be a successful fool, you must have some dignity.

“A try-hard fool is something no one wants to see. You can go from fool to clown really quickly if you’re not careful,” he said.

This is when I got a bit nervous. What if I’ve been his clown this whole time, and there’s no real holiday for try-hards like myself? But then he validated my foolish thoughts.

“I think just having  natural foolishness is most important. Maybe you’re not a fool all the time, but when you want to be, you can be the funniest person in the room,” Jack said. “That’s where I think you really thrive as a fool. You pick your spots, and when you feel like turning it on, it’s just a riot in the room; it’s just laughter. The whole ground shakes.”

He’s definitely caught himself a fool. Maybe he just doesn’t know how to ask me yet.

This made me consider all of those without fools today and what they may be experiencing if they have the qualities of a jester but have never found the right court to perform in. 

I reached out to my sister, a self-proclaimed “Lone Jerry,” to see how she feels about being fool-less on a day like today.

“I just think I’ve got a lot of things I want to do before I’m ready to settle down and be someone’s fool,” Jerry said.

Jerry might be getting older, but her foolishness is staying young. And she’s OK with being her own fool right now.

“It’s hard to find a fool in today’s world if you aren’t comfortable going on the prankster apps like Cringe,” she said.

This made me feel so lucky to have Jack as my jokester in crime. I don’t have to fool around in a world full of clowns anymore. And I don’t have to wait for him to ask me just to make it official. So, Jack, will you be my fool?