OK fellow students, here’s the deal: This column is the first of what I hope will be a regular feature about sexuality.
Not that I’m in any way an expert on this kind of stuff. I just think that sexuality is an important topic for the public to discuss, and hey, somebody has to do it.
Furthermore, I want to know what you think should be the content of this column. What would you like to see discussed? Are you having questions about issues in your own sex life? Any thoughts, questions, comments, complaints or suggestions for future column topics would be greatly appreciated. You can e-mail me (the address is at the end of this column), send a letter (the address is on page two) or call the office (we’re in the book).
I figured that a good way to kick off this endeavor would be a bit of reporting on everybody’s favorite hangout spot: the sex shop. My adventures in investigative journalism follow.
Upon entering the Castle Superstore, the largest sexually oriented business in Lane County, one is immediately struck by the myriad choices that greet the eye. More than half the size of a Safeway market, the Castle contains so many sex products that I bet it would take the entire cast of “Emmanuelle” at least two lifetimes to use all of it.
The first thing I noticed upon walking in was the lingerie. Looking to the left, I saw quite a comprehensive bondage-gear department. My curiosity piqued, I began to make my way to the bondage toys when I ran smack-dab into a friendly couple. The boyfriend was a 19-year-old student at Lane Community College, and his girlfriend was an 18-year-old native of the Seattle area. I sheepishly asked them if they’d be willing to be participants in my research.
“Oh, definitely,” the boyfriend said, looking at his partner, who nodded in approval. She had been in the store a few times to pick out lingerie — the “crazy stuff,” as her boyfriend put it. He wasn’t ashamed to admit that he’d visited the store a few times as well.
“This place is great for finding things like massage oils — stuff that’s hard to find unless you know what you’re looking for,” he said.
Walking up to the store’s main counter, I found a 23-year-old female employee — the Castle’s store policy does not allow the printing of her name — who looked to be enjoying her work. I asked her what kinds of people were the most common visitors to the store. I was surprised when she informed me that far and away the most frequent customers were couples, both young and old. Couples are usually looking for sex toys or movies they can watch together, she said.
Fascinated by this revelation, I decided to get some facts about sex shops from people who know what they are talking about. Jena Jolissaint, a University graduate teaching fellow who will be teaching the philosophy department’s “Love and Sex” class this summer, said the fact that couples make up the largest demographic of sex shop customers “gives me hope for Eugene.”
“This shows that there is an increase in communicating about pleasure,” she said. “It’s OK to ask for what you want from your partner. Things like sex toys are good because they portray sex as positive.”
Dana Berthold, a former GTF for “Love and Sex,” agreed.
“It’s great that couples are the largest demographic,” she said. “Traditionally, women aren’t supposed to admit that they take sex into their own hands. A friend of mine gave her boyfriend a strap-on dildo for Valentine’s Day. That’s a huge step.”
“If couples are going in and picking out vibrators together, that rocks!” Jolissaint added.
Later in the day, I headed to another sex shop. Sadly, its store policy doesn’t allow me to print the name of the business. This shop was mainly an adult video emporium, with a few sex toys thrown in for good measure.
I walked through the front door, found myself looking at a six-inch long butt plug, and immediately noticed the Beach Boys’ “God Only Knows” blasting over the stereo system. It was a pretty odd combination, to say the least.
I was greeted by a very nice employee in his early 20s. He informed me that his store specializes in adult videos and is largely frequented by single men from about 25 to 50. I asked him what it’s like to work there.
“It’s a great experience to work here. I’ve definitely learned a lot, and I would definitely recommend working here,” he said. “I don’t know if I’d do it as a career, though.”
Couples, especially younger ones, are frequent customers at this establishment as well.
“We try to make it nice here,” the employee said. “We don’t cater to any one demographic. It’s not just for single men or just for couples. Our goal is to make everyone feel comfortable.”
Jolissaint was pleased by the positive focus on sex and feels that it’s a shame most shops suffer the same treatment: They’re stuck in seedy parts of town, windows covered with butcher paper. She believes that positive resources for sex still get combined with the negative.
“Hiding positive things and lumping them together with everything bad adds to the idea that sex is something to be ashamed of,” she said.
Berthold felt the same way, adding that the people who zone sex shops into the “dirty” parts of town “aren’t solving the problem, they’re just saying, ‘I don’t want this in my backyard.’”
If I learned anything from my day of debauchery, it was this: Don’t be afraid of sex shops. Sexually oriented businesses occupy a very legitimate and important niche in society that shouldn’t just be filed under “smut.”
They’re a very useful way for couples to explore new things together. They encourage communication between the sexes. And most of all, they contain a wealth of information for anyone with even a mild interest in sexuality.
The next time you visit a store devoted to sex, take a good look around and try striking up conversation with one of the clerks. You might be surprised by what you learn.