Valentine’s Day season has come and many ducks on campus are celebrating the month by spending it with their special person.
Yet, many of us who want to find someone special to spend Valentine’s Day with cannot seem to find anyone, whether it’s a long-term partner or even just a date. How do students at UO keep a healthy relationship going, and how did they find their person?
I believe that finding the person for you isn’t as hard as it seems.
Yet while many Ducks want to find someone and find it to be physically impossible in today’s world, there are so many happy couples on campus who manage to make their relationship work with one another, and I find that it can be very inspiring for the rest of us.
Hallie Smith, a sophomore at the University of Oregon, has been in a healthy relationship with her partner Noah Leiberman who is also a University of Oregon student in his junior year. Smith and Leiberman have been together for the past three years. They met while working at a grocery store together.
I asked Smith how they keep their love life happy and healthy in the long run, to which she responded: “I like to think that Noah and I strive to keep our communication constant.”
“Contrary to what you might see on social media, your partner is not a mind reader. You need to tell them what’s working and what’s not working between you two. It’s very important to talk through the awkwardness, because otherwise what might seem like a small concern now could turn into resentment later,” Smith said.
Joseph Erlinger, a graduate student at UO, talked about his experience with his partner who goes to Oregon State University.
“I think a ‘secret’ to having a long relationship is the ability to face challenges. There is a skill in de-escalating tensions and communication through hardships,” Erlinger said. “I think this skill can only be truly developed by having a relationship in the first place. For people new to dating, I would say there’s a lot of luck — and potentially a lot of heartbreak — of finding the right person who’s willing to grow as much as you are.”
When I asked Erlinger what key advice he would give to those who want to start and continue to keep a healthy relationship he responded, “I would say the best thing for someone who has a busy life is to first figure out boundaries. One of the most important boundaries a person can have is to know how much time they can dedicate to their partner. Ultimately, a relationship is about spending time with someone you care about.”
It’s not as hard as it seems, as long as you know what you’re doing.
Not everyone’s experience is the same, and you never know when you’re going to find the person who is right for you. It may take a while, but there are plenty of eligible Ducks on campus despite hookup culture and awkward first dates. Don’t give up quite yet.
