Opinion: Tinder, an app that self-describes as a “place to meet new people,” is used by young people to bump fuzzies. But is it really an effective way to increase one’s supply of lovers?
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Experts say that Tinder is used for more than just meeting friends — much more. In fact, Tinder is used to arrange so-called “hook-ups.” Of course, if you ask me, I think that anybody who uses Tinder is a pathetic, troglodytic cretin. Luckily for me, I have standards.

Unfortunately, it seems most young people today don’t. Tinder is among the most popular e-dating apps, promising pleasure in a single swipe for today’s ill-mannered generations.

But is Tinder actually effective at increasing a person’s love count, as opposed to more traditional mating strategies? I asked several disgusting Tinder users what they thought.

“Before I started using Tinder, I had two, though at one time ten, hookups a day,” local degenerate Jimmy James Ravitch said. “Since I started using Tinder, I’ve had five hookups per day — and that’s just on a bad day.”

When asked if he felt ashamed of using Tinder, Ratvich replied, “Well, is God ashamed of the church he is worshiped in?”

Next, how does Tinder compare with other e-dating apps?

“I definitely have better luck with Tinder than with Gmail, I’ll tell you that,” Oregon hoodlum Porter Wheeler said. “I’ve only tried Hinge because the commercials made me want to fuck the pillow mascot.”

Of course, I have class, and I would never lower myself by resorting to such a skeevy sex app to find love. Instead, you can find me at a bar on lonely nights.

Some users employ different strategies to attract mates on Tinder. “When I first started Tinder, I had a bio describing my interests and hobbies, but I rarely got any hookups,” an anonymous, but totally-real, Tinder user said. “Once I changed my Tinder bio to ‘Future Milf :),’ my body count increased by nearly 30%!”
“My Tinder bio also said ‘Future milf,’ and I too had a high amount of hookups-per-day,” another Tinder user, who also exists, said. “But then, I changed my bio to ‘Current milf,’ and my number of hookups per day decreased for some reason.”

One criticism of Tinder is that it relies primarily on the objectification and commodification of women’s bodies (or, in normal person language, the male gaze). Tinder is all about looks and not personality, which is apparently how young people find love nowadays. Not me, though; I’m not like other guys.

I’ve never been with a woman, because I’m not a perverted delinquent.

Tinder is a malicious app that promotes an unhealthy body image. It rewards shallowness; the better-looking you are, the more matches you get. But if not, too bad for you! And this applies to men, women and everyone in between.

But if you’re not a perfect adonis of a man, guess what: you’re going to get zero matches. Zero, no matter how many attractive flexing mirror pics you try taking! You’ll never find true love! You might as well have no purpose in life (well, other than writing articles about Tinder of course).