The air stilled as the women of the Chi Omega sorority approached the EMU East Lawn, hand in hand, forming a procession of mourners coming to say goodbye to their beloved sister, Lillian Pagenstecher. “Lill” died Friday evening from bacterial meningitis.
More than a thousand University students joining the sorority filled the lawn, with candles waiting to be lit during the service; members of many of the other fraternities and sororities came, too, to support the life lost.
University students Jeff Rodgers@@http://uoregon.edu/findpeople/person/Jeff*Rodgers@@ and Laura Hinman led the service, ensuring students were aware of counseling services available as well as introducing the speakers of the evening.

Interim University president Robert Berdahl opened not only with remarks from himself, but also comments given to him by Lill’s sorority sisters. The comments reflected the passion Lill possessed for life, as well as her love of the Food Network.
“As we think about this very sad moment, all of us together here,” Berdahl said, “let us take that resolve and go forward with the kind of friendship and love and affection for one another that she taught us to have.”
Chi Omega President Miranda Matthews@@http://uoregon.edu/findpeople/person/Miranda*Matthews@@ came to the stage next, to lead the audience in the rest of the vigil ceremony.
“This is so overwhelming and amazing to see how many people showed up tonight,” Matthews said. “It really stands tribute to the person Lill was.”
She thanked those attending for providing the support she and others needed to get through this difficult time. The stage was then opened to those who wanted to speak in honor of Lill.
Gary Pagenstecher, Lill’s father, came up and thanked the students for coming out and giving him the ability to meet her “extended family.”
In the distance, the jarring sound of bells broke the mourning silence while close friend Jayne Thomas came to the stage, sitting with her legs hanging over the edge with another friend by her side. She had been at the hospital with Lill and had messages from her last moments at the hospital.
“We laughed all the way through it,” Thomas said. “And even when she was crying, we laughed all the way through it.”
She talked about how hungry they had been that night, with Lill only wanting to go to Taco Bell. Her recollection of the times at the hospital had many of the audience laughing and crying. She made sure to reach out to all the people Lill had wanted her to — even the kid from writing class who had said she “snored cute.”
“There was a moment when she knew, and I told her I’d be right back. But I didn’t get to go back in there,” Thomas said. “But I know I’ll be right back at some point.
“She was there one minute, she wasn’t the next. But she is, you know — she’s everywhere.”
Thomas also joked about making sure everyone went to dollar beers, in Lill’s honor.
Other friends and family came to speak about her impact before her mother, Toni Pagenstecher, spoke about her time visiting Lill for the Eugene Marathon.
“I enjoyed the moment that I spent here at the University of Oregon, with our child, that I really wanted to come home,” she said, unable to keep her voice from cracking. “So, thank you for your thoughtfulness. Thank you for your security, for my daughter … I love you, Lillian.”
Lastly, coworkers and other friends spoke of her ambition and willingness to do whatever it took to help others. Audience members snapped their fingers to preserve the calm — instead of clapping — after each speaker, between hugs and tears.
The ceremony finished with the singing of Chi Omega’s song and the blowing out of the candles. Shortly after, a lantern was lit and let go into the warm, night sky.
Gary Pagenstecher was amazed by the ceremony, and the “family” he got to meet.
“It was profound,” he said. “It’s a chance to meet our extended family, her extended family, which has been really important to her, obviously. We remember Lillian as strong and joyful.”
Hinman felt the ceremony was a fantastic way to show her impact on the fraternity and sorority community.
“For me personally, it’s just about supporting our organizations and supporting our individual members — a loss of one member is a loss to our entire community,” she said. “There’s so many different students here and administrators and family and friends, and I think it speaks multitudes to who she was. And the fact that people can still laugh here today speaks to who she is, too.”
Matthews considers this one of the biggest steps in the mourning, but also sees her house coming out of it strong. Those at the memorial spent time talking to each other — just remembering who she was — and laughing together.
“I feel like we just find so much support in each other, and we’re just coming out stronger than ever from this,” Matthews said. “We’re just using each other to support one another and lift each other up when we need it.”