Editor’s note: In recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we break with formal style to present this fictionalized personal narrative.
He hit her again. I could tell by the way she hid her face from me. My friend, whom I’ve known for years — afraid to look at me, embarrassed as to what I might think. Before I could say a word, she looked at me courageously and smiled between tears, a bright purple bruise masking her happy brown eyes.
In that moment we shared, I did not judge her nor say a word. I merely smiled and held my friend as she cried and tried to explain that her boyfriend, the one who was supposed to love her and take care of her, swore he’d never do it again — just like all the times before.
Last year, there were more than 4,000,000 reports of domestic violence assaults on women, according to www.enddomesticviolence.com, a Web site sponsored by Womenspace. My friend was just one of them.
Try as I might, she would not leave this man who claimed his love as often as he hit her. The abuse was not just physical but emotional as well. I cried when I heard him say how fat and ugly she was on their wedding day.
Yes, she knew of his physical and emotional violence before she married him, but like many, she thought she could change him. And all I could do was be there for her when she needed me, hold her when she cried and pray the next hit didn’t kill her.
She didn’t know there were other people out there who could help her. She didn’t know that that’s not how love is supposed to be. It wasn’t until he jeopardized their child did she leave.
 
There are so many more people out there with stories like this, and some people still don’t know how to help a loved one who is being abused. If you suspect someone is a victim of domestic violence, the National Hotline for Domestic Violence recommends these tips:
* Provide whatever you can in way of transportation, money or support.
* Make a list of people to call and places to go for help.
* Never make them leave or seek help. That must be their decision.
* Sometimes the best way to help is to just lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on. So, be that ear or shoulder, and show your friend or loved one you care what happens to them — but don’t let them be silenced.
There are many places on and off campus that offer assistance to people who are in domestic violence situations. Call Womenspace at 485-6513, Domestic and Sexual Violence Advocacy at 484-6103, the University Counseling Center at 346-3227, the University Crisis Line at 346-4488 or the Office of Student Life at 346-3216.