An old campus legend says the Pioneer Mother — the statue of a female Oregon Trail pioneer next to Gerlinger Hall — stands up every time a virgin walks by. While most students have never seen the Pioneer Mother leave her chair, they must all confront the decision of whether to have sex.
Ramah Leith, a councilor at the Health Education Program at the University Health Center, said that even though it is difficult to determine how many college students have had sexual relationships, students are more likely to be sexually active because of the intimacy a tight-knit community creates.
However, some University students say love can exist without sex in today’s world.
University senior Stephanie Garber and her boyfriend Daniel Hemmerich have been dating exclusively for more than a year and have not had sex.
They said that while some college-age people avoid sex because they fear accidental pregnancy or disease, their Christian faith guided their choice.
“(Sex) is a very real and symbolic union between a man and a woman that was designed by God to reflect the relationship between (God) and the world,” Hemmerich said. He said sex is a commitment for a permanent relationship — marriage.
Like other couples, Hemmerich and Garber “do all the normal things,” like seeing concerts, watching movies, going on walks together and cuddling.
In a relationship, it is important to meet challenges, like sex, up front, the couple said.
“Nobody said it would be easy, but that’s okay,” Garber said. “Most things that are good are not easy.”
Hemmerich added this is what makes abstinence worthwhile.
Leith said the best way for couples to make choices about their sexual lives is to talk about it.
“The key is communication — depending on how committed they are to each other and how emotionally ready they are,” she said.
Garber agrees talking about emotions is important in a
relationship.
“(Sex) is not a subject we shy away from,” she said.
University students Eric Baker and Amy Farris, who have also dated for more than a year and are now engaged, agree that communication is necessary for a relationship to work without sex.
“We’re open with each other — we talk about everything,” Baker said.
Baker and Farris said they adhere to a relationship without sex also because of their Christian faith, and because they owe it to each other.
“Sometimes it’s hard, but it’s not that hard when you think about why you’re doing it,” Farris said.
While some students are committed to abstinence, they do have to deal with peer pressure.
“(Abstinence) is not exactly a popular thing,” Garber said. “It … holds this aura that you should be embarrassed, but I think that’s dumb. I think there are a lot more virgins out there than would like to admit it.”