In the world of books, movies and guidance counselors, the end of something good means the beginning of something better. In the real world, it usually means a difficult time of adjustment and a sense of longing for “how it used to be.”
The end of this column is combined with the end of a college experience, the end of a radio show and the end of the past three-and-a-half years, all with no new beginnings yet in sight. It would be dishonest to say that it is not the least bit depressing. It would also be dishonest to say it is not absolutely wonderful to get home from work and have nothing to do other than sleep or play video games.
Some people have everything lined up on the way out. These people knew what college they wanted to go to by their second year of junior high. They get a good job, start a family, buy a lovely house in a highly coveted location and spend the rest of their lives searching for their lost youth by participating in “extreme sports.”
Normal people take their time, have a few beers and wait for something to fall into their laps. By no means is this a fail-safe technique, but it seems like temporary slackers smile more often than workaholics.
The key to being a temporary slacker is doing it right. Outright apathy can result in as many ulcers as obsessive career planning. They can both be a trap. As long as being lazy is a temporary condition, it’s fun. Once laziness becomes a lifestyle, it’s a one-way ticket to spouses that smell like a combination of old vinyl and the dirt beneath stadium bleachers.
Make sure you have a job. Living off government supplements such as unemployment is almost as much work as having a real job, but not as profitable.
A major drawback to the slacker life, temporary or permanent, is that difficult choices must be made.
Cable or fancy dinners? High-quality alcohol or high-quality hair products? Sacrifices are inevitable, but they are often worth it.
An essential part of living in a
temporary state of suspended ambition is to not have kids. When you’re a single person, waiting tables is an excellent way to make plenty of money and still get to leave your work at home. The arrival of a baby means that not only will the money be insufficient, but also that there is no longer any escape from the food service industry.
The truth is, we don’t live in a Disney movie and changes in our life are sometimes inconvenient and abrupt. This shouldn’t be news, and it shouldn’t be frightening either. It’s hard to believe after years of working toward the next step, but sometimes it’s OK to just step back and take a breath before getting back into the race.

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