North Carolina has its Dean Dome, named after legendary hoops coach Dean Smith.
Let’s give Oregon The Luke Dome.
So the dream of a new basketball arena became a reality Thursday. But with all the shuffling among focus groups, site choices and traffic concerns, the new arena committee forgot about naming rights. We know now that the old McArthur Court is sticking around until it crumbles from age (my only regret upon graduation is that I’ll never be able to play intramural floor hockey on the hallowed floor of The Pit), and two Mac Courts would seem sillier than having a Duck as a mascot. So what to call the new arena?
Phil, I love you like you were my own uncle, but let’s not call the new place Nike Arena. And even if we raze Williams Bakery to build the new arena, let’s not name it after a local business like Williams Pavilion or Romania Center.
Here’s the plan: Let’s use the naming rights as a mafia-like bribe. Tell Luke and Luke if they stay, we name the new place The Luke Dome. If they go to the NBA, fugheddaboutit. We name the new place after someone who did stay, like Freddie Jones Place. Or better yet, we name it for someone who stayed and did well in academics to, you know, send the message to the nation that we’re an academics-oriented school.
Ladies and gents, welcome to The Ben Lindquist Events Center! Otherwise known as BLEC, as in, “Going to the blech for the game?” Stay in school, kiddies! It’s the Lindquist way!
Of course, if we don’t go corporate, we’ll probably end up naming the building after some old basketball player who nobody’s heard of. So why not make it a cool player like Larry Cooley (letterman from 1964-65). What recruit wouldn’t want to play in the brand-new Cooley Center? Cool! Or Chet Noe (letterman from 1951-53). I can hear the chants now as opposing players take their free throws: “Noe way in the Noe Dome! Noe way Noe how!” Or we could have a suitable moniker to replace “The Pit” by naming the new arena after Greg Trapp (letterman from 1984-85). Welcome… to The Trapp!
Let’s not make the unfortunate mistake made by the folks at Ohio State, who built a new basketball arena in 1998 and named it Value City Arena. So are we going to a basketball game or going bargain hunting? And let’s certainly avoid following the footsteps of our Pacific-10 Conference foes, the Washington Huskies. When they remodeled Hec Edmundson Pavilion in 2000, the Huskies named the new court Bank of America Arena. So can I use my Wells Fargo check card there? Do ATMs appear out of nowhere during games, like in the commercials?
Seriously, a new arena is overdue like most of my library books, so it’s good to see the Athletic Department take action. A good name should be at the top of the new arena priority list, but speaking from a student’s perspective, there are other priorities.
Priority 2: Wraparound student seating. Remember how cool wraparound Oakley shades were in the ’90’s? Yeah, wraparound floor seating for students would be even cooler. And hey, if you want Cameron-like atmosphere, give students Cameron-like seating.
Priority 3: Build it at Williams Bakery. Not because of its proximity to campus, but because it will make dorm life — the worst part of the Oregon experience — so much more enjoyable. Imagine stepping out of the Grab ‘n Go, and a basketball arena is right there. Plus, that will solve the horrible bread-smell problem!
But above all, we need to remember to keep the naming of the new arena simple, concise and meaningful, so it sounds good on national television.
Next, we go to Eugene live for tipoff at The BLEC. Blech!