Zoom has made us awkward. Things that might have been easy before the pandemic, like approaching a cute girl in the EMU or asking for someone’s phone number in class, now feel more daunting than ever. A study done at universities around the country in January reported students feeling increased levels of anxiety and loneliness and like they missed out on part of the best years of their lives. The Instagram page UO Missed Connections aims to help students create in-person connections on campus. Coming out of a COVID year, the page reflects students’ anxieties and excitement about socializing in person again.
‘Missed connections’ Instagram accounts have been popping up on college campuses all over the country throughout 2021. The accounts present a new and less intimidating way for college students to meet, functioning through students who send in direct messages to the account with a description of another student they encountered and want to meet up with. Then, the account posts a screenshot of the DM with the hopes that the right person will recognize the description of themselves and reach out.
On May 26, one of these accounts came to Eugene. @uo_missedconnections made its first post last spring, starting with a screenshot of a DM that read: “I saw this girl at the Emu today get a strawberry surfrider. You complimented my bikini kill shirt. Please see this.” A few days later, the account had its first success connecting two students after posting the DM: “to the blonde girl wearing a green skirt and a white shirt who was sitting outside the emu the other day, if you’re single, please hmu please and thank you.” Since then, the page has posted its anonymous DMs sporadically, throwing students’ hopes for connection into the void of the internet.
“Meeting for the first time is inherently awkward, and maybe the account can help break down some of the awkwardness,” Vithika Goyal, a UO sophomore said. “@uo_missedconnections is kind of destigmatizing meeting people through the internet.”
The account receives a myriad of different messages, from those looking for a romantic partner to students trying to reconnect with a friend they made earlier that day. One user even sent in a photo they took of a couple in Hendricks Park in an attempt to share the captured moment with the lovebirds. Although more than half of @uo_missedconnections posts are someone seeking out an attractive stranger, the account is also good for platonic connections.
The UO missed connections page is run by six administrators who wish to remain anonymous to maintain the anonymous nature of the account which they believe helps people feel comfortable submitting messages.
“We all lived together when we decided to start the page,” one administrator said. “Our friend had done a missed connection on Craigslist, and we kept saying how it would be so cool if there was one of these at UO. Then the page was born.”
“I feel like it’s cool to have a page that facilitates making connections,” another administrator said. “It’s really helpful to have a place where UO students can find each other online.” They compared the page to Tinder, but a version in which you can take more initiative. “We’re in an era where people are scared to approach each other, and hopefully our page can help with that,” the second administrator said.
The page reflects that students are craving connection, but struggling to rejoin the social sphere after over a year of limited social interactions. “I think missing out on socializing is particularly hard for students because it’s a time when you’re leaving the home,” Catrin Rode, a clinical psychologist in Eugene, said. “Your brain is kind of designed to leave the nest and seek out new connections.” Rode specializes in ADHD and learning disorders, which means she sees a lot of young people and students.
Garrett Simmer, a junior at UO, also found it hard to socialize during the pandemic. “This year it hasn’t been as hard to meet people, but last year was really tough,” Simmer said. “It would’ve been nice to meet more people, because last year I was just hanging around with the same people as freshman year.” He hopes there will be more opportunities to branch out this school year. Students like Simmer want to rejoin the social sphere, but are struggling because of the awkwardness COVID has created.
Since COVID hit, a lot of students have taken to connecting online. @uo_missedconnections reflects how much easier it is for students to approach each other from behind a screen, where the stakes are lower. “I’m used to people being scared to come up to me,” Caelan Fitzgibbons, a UO first year, said. “I used to be a Lolita, so I wore a lot of dresses and stuff like that, and now I just wear whatever I want but it tends to be a little out there.” Fitzgibbons has made some of their closest friends and met their significant other online. They like the idea of Missed Connections because most of their social life is online, where people feel more comfortable approaching them.
Kenneth Wilson, a junior at UO, has utilized social media apps to connect with others during COVID. “I’ve spent most of the last two years on Tinder and Hinge, so meeting online is a totally valid way to meet people,” Wilson said. He finds it harder to make a connection in public or in class and believes the influx of online socializing is a direct reflection of that.
Some students are finding it hard to bounce back after COVID and make friends; Goyal thinks that @uo_missedconnections is a cool way to counteract this challenge. “I don’t feel alone in the struggle,” she said. “I think everyone’s struggling in the same ways.”
Rode, the psychologist, is concerned that some people “have forgotten how to socialize” during COVID. “The re-entry is anxiety-provoking for a lot of people,” she said. “To be aware of that, and to be conscious about needing to do it and not avoiding it, is important.”
Rode thinks that, on a positive note, we’re now aware that we need and miss human connection. “Just being on our Instagram or Tinder, or socializing through social media, is not the same as the real thing,” Rode said. “We’re happier if we’re with people, and so even though it may be hard in the moment, it’s a lesson learned.”
Rode believes that COVID can be framed as a learning experience, especially for students that are experiencing it at such a crucial time in life. “We had a communal challenging experience and we came through,” she said. “I think it is important for students, because they were hit harder, to check in and check that they’re okay.”
