The Hallmark holiday has its merits. First, it’s all about love — nothing wrong with that. Second, it livens up an incredibly dull month, assuming you don’t plan your February around Punxsutawney Phil the groundhog. And third, it’s a chance to appear romantic, even if you are a guy, reading this with cheese doodle detritus on your chin.
That said, Valentine’s Day gifts are completely overrated. Jewelry? Honey, if this relationship works out, you’re going to spend enough on an engagement ring and wedding band. Save now on the bling bling. Flowers? A nice gesture, yes, but they die. And chocolate? Your mate will put on weight and resent you.
Still, given the triumvirate’s popularity, there’s a way to get around the expense and risks: Fake it. Here’s how.

Fake candy
What and why: We’re talking about stuff that looks like candy, yet has actual utility. And that means body products. BeneFit cosmetics came out with Icings ($32 only at www.benefitcosmetics.com) in December, a four-pack of two lip glosses and two eye shimmers packed similarly to Reese’s peanut butter cups. Pupa has a sweet kit ($25 at Sephora stores; www.sephora.com) with all sorts of shadows and shimmers in bright pastels. Philosophy also has four-packs ($30 at major department stores) of “Frozen Desserts,” “Baked Goods” and “Homemade Pies,” which smell just like the real thing and are dandy shampoo and body washes. The “Cinnamon Buns” is unbelievable. Yum.
Warning: Do not attempt to go anywhere near a discussion of the merits of sweet look-alikes vs. the real thing. Hip size will come up, and everything will get messy.

Fake flowers
What and why: Flowers are great — but short-lived. Instead, get a bouquet that may last longer than your relationship. You can go the more costly route, with a bouquet of silk flowers ($50-$180 at some florists), or with a box of scented rose-shape candles ($19.95 at Illuminations stores; www.illuminations.com). The candles have a finite life, naturally, but that’s just another dose of realism.
Warning: When going for the silk flowers, don’t get a bouquet you hate. They do not die. You will look at them forever.

Fake jewelry
What and why: Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. Yeah. You know why? Because when you dump her, or she dumps you, she can go to the pawn shop and get a pretty penny for what you bought while in the throes of love. Baby, there’s nothing wrong with cubic zirconia. It looks good, and your credit card ($80 for a single stone on a chain at Impostors stores; www.premierjewelry.com) will thank you later.
Warning: Don’t try to pass this off as real. Some girls stow jeweler’s loupes in their sock drawers in anticipation of that special day. Seriously.