Many college students find themselves in a unique position where they can reflect on the intricate dynamics of their relationship with their parents. This introspective ability often becomes pronounced due to the newfound independence and distance from their families that college life offers. With the physical and emotional space that comes with living away from home, students can reevaluate the dynamics that were ingrained in their lives from childhood.
For some, this newfound independence leads to a greater sense of autonomy and self-discovery, which can sometimes cause tension or distance in their relationship with their parents. They may start to assert their own beliefs, values and identities, which can sometimes diverge from those of their parents. This process of individuation is a natural part of growing up and can lead to both growth and challenges in the parent-child relationship. How have some college students’ relationships with their parents evolved over the years?
“I think it’s affected my parents more than it’s affected me,” UO sophomore Aaron Vischer said about the dynamic between him and his parents after coming to the university. “I was very much an independent person and in an independent type of place. They envisioned me a lot more. College has put a strain on our relationship and it’s much more apparent they don’t trust my ability as an adult. Actions that I take, they don’t trust me.”
On the other hand, some college students find that their relationships with their parents deepen and evolve in positive ways during this time. The distance and separation can lead to a newfound appreciation for their parents’ guidance, support and sacrifices. As students navigate the challenges of college life, they may find themselves turning to their parents for advice, comfort and perspective more than ever before. This can foster a stronger sense of connection and understanding between parents and their college-aged children.
“We got closer after college because you are only around them when you want to be around them,” UO senior Calvin Butler said. “We’ve bonded over keeping the family together because everyone has moved. It’s something that has made me happy over the years. I’m glad we’re closer.”
The evolution of relationships between college students and their parents is a complex and multifaceted process. While some may experience challenges and conflicts as they assert their independence, others may find that distance leads to a deeper appreciation and understanding of their parents. Ultimately, this period of transition provides an opportunity for both parents and their college-aged children to redefine their relationship in ways that are mutually beneficial and supportive. Not being afraid to question the dynamic between your origin is something that is valid and important as we live in an era of growth and change.
