This is the first part of a serial satirical diary by Emerald opinion blogger Amber Cole.
A recent trend that has hit the ground running this year is people disconnecting themselves from electronic devices. They even have luxurious retreats dedicated to this concept of pulling your phone out of your back pocket and leaving it on the shelf, untouched. I myself have always been one for taking a break from electronic devices. I mean, I always turn my phone off at a certain point of the night and leave it off until I feel like turning it on again in the morning.
But when these retreats came across my watering hole of knowledge, I decided that maybe I wasn’t doing enough to appreciate the world around me and the beauty of nature. So, I am planning on taking my disconnection to the next level. I plan to cut myself completely off of technology for six months. I know what you’re thinking; I’m crazy, right? Well, all I have to say to that is “challenge accepted.”
I have bought a lockbox from the Bank of America, and in this lockbox I put my computer, cell phone, iPod, and Nook. My printer was too big for the box, so I threw it out the window. (Sorry, maintenance guy. I swear you weren’t standing there when I opened the window.) I will keep you all posted on my progress.
Day 1
Morning: This is really funny. I look around and see everyone on their phones and iPods and I reach into my pocket to pull out my lovely devices — only to find out they weren’t there. It sounds depressing, but it reminds me of the times I wear contacts, and I think my glasses are on my face, so I try to push them up only to hit my face. Oh, and some people were asking me about the key to my lockbox. The answer to that is I tossed it into the Willamette River. I may have to pay a large sum of money to have the lock drilled, but I figured I would rather have all temptations out of the way. If I have to pay up to $300 to have a lockbox drilled in June, then so be it.
It’s evening now, and I’m really starting to miss my technology babies. It’s so boring to sit around and do nothing. I’ve done all my reading homework for the week. I have a book I could read, but I’m sick of reading. I decided to give my DVDs to the poor maintenance man who felt the wrath of my printer falling at 9.8 meters per second. He deserves them after all he’s survived. What a trooper. I guess I’ll go to bed now. There’s no point in staying awake.
Day 7
Over the past week, I have learned the severe drawbacks to trying to live in a technology world without technology. I guess there was some sort of bio-hazard in PLC, where I have my morning class. I walked into the unmonitored building (yeah, Oregon, you might want to make sure there is no one walking into the building and assume everyone can read their UO Alert! texts/emails). Anyway, I walked into PLC to go to class, and I am bombarded with dudes in hazmat suits and forced to take a decontamination shower. It was violating and embarrassing. I walked into Portuguese and had to explain to my teacher what happened. The few people who were overhearing my sad tale simply laughed because the notice was all over Facebook, Twitter, email inboxes and texts to everyone.
I decided to skip classes for the rest of the day. It was only one class after Portuguese, but I’d rather just stay in my room and bury myself in the growing pile of reading material. I have read two weeks’ worth of my assignments. It’s amazing how much more productive I am without technology. If there be any plus side to this experiment, it would be how far ahead in school I am.