I am obsessed with trivia.
This is by no means a novel revelation that I have come to, but one that has become increasingly prevalent in my day-to-day life.
It doesn’t matter where the trivia questions are generated, or what they involve, they just have to have a stake; winning suffices.
I became tapped into my trivia-wired mind while home for winter break. My parents are also self-proclaimed gamers and never miss a night of “Jeopardy!” and “Wheel of Fortune.” They lured me into their nightly quiz rituals, and now whenever I miss my half hour with Alex Trebek it is unbearable. And it’s not like I am a quiz genius. I am lucky to provide an occasional guess.
Though most label “The Wheel” as a dear pastime of the Bible Belt, it’s my fave. Not only have I applied to be a contestant, but I now receive Pat and Vanna’s monthly e-newsletter.
And I know all of us pathetic, fixated TV viewers have been crying for our beloved shows to resume and the writers’ strike to cease, but then we would not have seen “Duel,” December’s week-long challenge game that partnered pop culture and everyday trivia with poker, or “Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?” The first episode I caught of FOX’s “5th Grader” was a couple weeks ago. The blonde bimbo from San Diego immediately acted as a deterrence, but before I grabbed the remote I realized how similar this was to the Brain Quest cards I used to entertain myself while in elementary school.
“There are 16 cups in four quarts!” I yelled excitedly to my TV screen. There was no switching channels. I was hooked. Then came spelling and grammar questions, which got a little scary.
As I became consumed by the show’s trivia questions, ones that I finally can answer, I couldn’t stop. It took me until the commercial break to realize what a dork I looked like: I was so proud to be smarter than a fifth grader – a fifth grader! And this surpassed any sense of achievement that I so earnestly covet from acing a Double Jeopardy.
Aside from game shows, I have channeled this trivia fetish into Tuesday nights at Max’s. Team name: The Unicorn Warhammers, which the host himself applauded for its originality. But Trivia Night tests me a little too much, and, when mixed with alcohol, brings out the extremist in me. Last month, on an unusually crowded night, I harassed a nearby team, berating them as “Cheaters,” while teetering on my barstool.
I have since learned to control myself and play in a cordial manner at Max’s. But as long as I am in the confines of my living room, I will revel in the fact that I am indeed smarter than a fifth grader.