Calling all open-minded readers:
We all have our own perceptions of what is real and substantial because we are trapped within the confines of our own minds. Consequently, we feel separate from the rest of the world, as though we are mere spectators rather than active participants, and it becomes all too easy to sit back and consider ourselves to be victims of life’s circumstances.
But we have more control over our own reality than we give ourselves credit for. Our actions, on any scale, affect our own lives and the lives of others, yet we relinquish this control because we are reluctant to take full responsibility for our own ends. Still, we are fully capable of going out and taking an active role in our own happiness, and I believe it begins with how we interact with one another.
Having others to communicate with is essential for emotional and physical health, and feeling accepted is an essential human need. Yet, there are so many barriers that exist to discourage the formation of new friendships that we cling to the current ones and consequently limit our exposure to one another, making the establishment of a new relationship to be a privilege reserved for either the overtly confident or the socially adept. While some extroverts find that striking up a conversation with a stranger or smiling at a passerby to be effortless, most people do not, for fear of being vulnerable.
So we opt for isolation, walking around campus with blinders on. Whether our hoods are up, our headphones are on, or we are talking on our cell phones, we are tuned out from the proximate world. We don’t make eye contact or smile at people we don’t know. We hold the door for one another without ever looking back at whom we are holding it for. At the end of the day, we go home and seek solace with the familiar people in our lives, because it is easier than taking a risk with someone new. It is no wonder that the individual can feel unacknowledged and easily isolated from the rest of the world – a feeling that can, and often does, lead to unhappiness.
What are the results of this closed-off attitude toward the new and unfamiliar? By failing to communicate with the unfamiliar, we forgo possible friendships. We keep ourselves sheltered by limiting our own exposure to others and thus their ideas. On a larger scale, we are bolstering xenophobia, misunderstanding and conflict among us.
By being taught to stay away from strangers, we are brought into a world that we believe to be cruel and dangerous. By labeling an unknown person as a “stranger,” we associate them with the negative connotations of “strange.” Under these circumstances, there are limited opportunities for new friendships – we are forced to take what we can get, while many of us could actually thrive with exposure to new people.
I realize this is a novel idea, but what if we were to start acknowledging one another, even the people that we don’t already know? More than just a once-over, what if we were to actually smile and strike up a conversation with a stranger, instead of just passing by as if they don’t exist? Finally, what if we began to think of strangers as friends that we have yet to make?
I realize that keeping to yourself is a defense strategy, but life on the defensive is no way to live. One might feel perfectly happy walking around with blinders on, acknowledging only those already known. But imagine all of the substantial people who exist out there with something great to contribute to your own experience of the world.
Social disconnection is a threat to our communities and our own personal health. Our quality of life will decline, both individually and socially, if we follow this trend of reactionary isolation from one another. We need a more open attitude towards humanity itself, to give others the benefit of the doubt.
In the words of John Lennon, “you may say I’m a dreamer,” but readers, “I am not the only one.” Open up new lines of communication – smile at someone, better yet, pay them a compliment. I truly believe the world would be a better place if we all just take off our headphones and simply make eye contact with people unknown to us, because even if we aren’t instantly acquiring new best friends left and right, then at the very least we are acknowledging one another’s humanity.
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