A legendary and important line to live by. At its surface, blatantly offensive and degrading. However, the idea behind it is worthwhile when you remove the gender bias. Whether you’re a dude bro or a lady bro, don’t forget your friends.
Urban Dictionary eloquently lays out for us the meaning of the expression: “The law stating that you always keep your buds before the significant other. Gotta keep the priorities straight, yo.”
This unwritten law shows its value at a college. It’s easy to lose sight of the value of friendship when face to face with adolescent kryptonite. There are a few pieces to this famous code, keep them all in mind as you stumble through the weekends.
First: The Steady
When a relationship is going well there’s nowhere you’d rather be than by the side of your significant other, old friends can be forgotten. They’re left to their own devices – likely reminiscing on pleasant memories of bromance over a lonesome glass of whiskey.
But why choose?
That’s right, you can have it all. The steady sweetheart and the pack of drinking buddies back at the apartment.
It all comes down to time management and perspective. Pulling yourself out of the, admittedly enticing, butterflies of romance and taking a look around. You might realize it’s been a few days since you’ve had a night with the boys/girls.
There’s two nights a weekend, try dividing them between the two settings. Your pals will appreciate the effort and you get the best of both worlds. Your paramour will likely use the time in the same way, and the two of you will come back together with a renewed interest after a night away. Win-win.
Incapable of pulling away for even a moment?
That’s a little ridiculous. But salvageable. Try spending time with both together. It’s a compromise, and if you made a good pick, your friends might even begin to understand why you’re away so much.
But there’s more to the juxtaposition of bros and hoes than just the consistent relationship.
Second: The Irresistible Ex
Let me paint you a picture – you’re wandering around a large-scale house party. The music is loud, the room is crowded, and all the cups are glued to the table with dry beer. You look up – it’s an ex.
But not yours, they dated a close friend for a while. Maybe it was a year ago, maybe they split up last week.
Tread very carefully.
In the heat of a crowd it’s easy to lose track of your allegiances. To make a move you might later regret. To test a friendship for one night of fun.
You might think this is where the balance of the bro against the ho is most truly strained. You’re wrong. The trial comes after the fact.
The duty of a bro is to be as brotherly as you can. Brothers make mistakes. But they don’t lie about them. The worst thing you can do to a friend is to be dishonest. It isn’t a matter of right and wrong, because those don’t exist in relationships. There are only choices. It’s a matter of respect which one you make.
Owning up to what you did can salvage a friendship. Keeping secrets in a campus so interconnected is nearly impossible and finding out the truth from someone else can be devastating.
A real bro wouldn’t put another bro through that.
Honesty isn’t a common quality. It takes guts, it takes love, but it shows character and it shows loyalty.
Bros before hoes isn’t about always picking your buddies over whoever you’re dating. It’s about recognizing which relationships are most important to you and doing whatever you can to make those last.