Soft proposal
This week, a varsity softball coach, Tim Gregory, pulled out a diamond against rival coach Christy Foster during a game between their two teams in Ohio, but it wasn’t home plate, it was the real deal. Gregory pulled out the ring and proposed to Foster, who said yes. The couple had been dating for two years. The sweet proposal did nothing to stop Gregory’s victory, however; Gregory’s team won 1-0.
Piercing party
This week, a Wyoming man set out to beat the world record for most body piercings in one session, this week. He sat through 1,501 piercings in one session with 16 gauge needles, beating the original record by 304. He got pierced in the arms, back, and legs. Notaries were on hand and video was sent to the Guiness World Records. Comically, at the end of it all, he kept only a single piercing on the back of his neck.
Drunken irony?
This week, a Maryland man has been charged with drunken driving and colliding with the vehicle of the retired judge who spared him jail time for a similar previous offense. The judge, Edwin Collier, presided over a case in 1998 in which the man was charged with drunk driving while parked in an idling car, had let him off without serving a sentence. He and his wife, Ellen, were both injured in the crash. Nice guys finish last, it seems.
“Toke me” Elmo
This week, the father of a student at an elementary school in Pennsylvania called school officials and told them he needed to retrieve something from his son’s Elmo backpack. This prompted officials to search the backpack where they found four ounces of marijuana. The police were waiting for the man by the time he arrived at the school. Another triumphant tale in stonerdom.
Lockjaw: worth it?
Last week, a man in Georgia dislocated his jaw while trying to eat a large sandwich. Having not eaten all day, the man a ordered double meat and double cheese sandwich from a restaurant called Which ‘Wich. Ettmueller opened his mouth so wide, that the right side of his jaw dislocated before he could even indulge in the sandwich’s deliciousness. His lockjaw lasted 14 hours and worst of all, his friend ended up eating his delectable sandwich. Proof that bigger isn’t always better, and when it comes to sandwiches, one should divide before attempting to conquer.
Braille burlesque
This week, a Toronto-based photographer has taken it upon herself to create pornography for the blind in the form of a book. The book contains tactile erotic images with descriptions in Braille. The images are created with clay through a multidimensional modeling process and range from women disco dancing to men dressed up as lusty robots. A single page takes about 50 hours of labor, and the book itself, selling for $225, has been a big hit. She notes that people who aren’t blind still like to close their eyes and touch her book. Perhaps, she will herald an entirely new pornography market.
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