Uh-oh, it’s happening again.
The cold sweat. The achy body. The temperature that miraculously rises at the same time every year.
There’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. For some reason, when the calendar flips to April, I come down with the same harsh sickness that forces me to stay home from school, work, etc.
In fact, as you read this right now, I’m locked up at my house suffering away.
Suffering from my annual case of Baseball Fever, baby.
Oh yes, today is the day when grown men wear eye black to work. When a congratulations is offered through the simple words, “Atta babe!” And when a hearty lunch consists of two juicy hot dogs and beer in a paper cup. (Mr. Hot Dog man across from the bookstore be warned: I’m coming your way, and I’m bringing a David Wells-type appetite with me.)
Today, of course, is Major League Baseball’s Opening Day. Granted, the Rangers and Blue Jays squared off in Puerto Rico yesterday, but today is where it’s at. Games all day on the tube, including my Padres vs. Giants at 1 p.m. on ESPN2.
Today is all about baseball. It signals the true beginning of spring and elicits an overwhelming sense of hope (after all, even San Diego isn’t mathematically eliminated from the playoffs yet).
It’s a day that should finally be recognized as an official holiday so thousands of people don’t have to forge doctor’s notes or lie about attending their dear old great grandma’s funeral to attend the games. I know my forehead sure got tired through the years of holding it up against the lamp for too long just to ensure myself of a sick day, which I’ve had on Opening Days since 1991.
So without further adieu, here’s my brief synopsis of the six divisions and who I believe will be left standing when the 162-game joy ride concludes in October.
NL West: Colorado is feeling mighty good about itself after acquiring the arms of Mike Hampton and Denny Neagle. Unfortunately for the Rockies, though, the thin air of Coors Field will provide its usual damage and Hampton and Neagle could suffer the same fate as ex-Rockie Darryl Kile. The Giants will repeat in this division, and finish ahead of the big-spending Dodgers, who threw a combined $77.5 million at pitchers Darren Dreifort and Andy Ashby. San Diego won’t be last in future Hall of Famer Tony Gwynn’s potential final season, as new Arizona manager Bob Brenly will discover that actually managing from the dugout is a whole new ball game than doing it from behind the cameras of Fox Sports Net.
Fearless prediction: Kevin Brown goes on the 60-day DL and forces the Dodgers to eat up his oversized contract for the year.
NL East: John Smoltz’s elbow surgery will have an effect, but not enough to prevent Atlanta from capturing this division for the millionth time. Tom Glavine and Greg Maddux will do just fine and look for a strong year from hurler John Burkett. The Mets will miss Hampton, but will still finish second ahead of Florida, Montreal and Philadelphia.
Fearless prediction: Montreal’s Vladimir Guerrero will be above .400 in late August.
NL Central: Kobe Bryant may crave a Big Mac in his commercials, but the real Big Mac is craving something more delicious: a World Series title. Mr. Mark McGwire might get just that this season as the Cardinals bolstered their pitching staff with the addition of Dustin Hermanson, who joins Andy Benes and Kile. Ken Griffey, Jr. will have an improved sophomore campaign with the Reds, but it won’t be enough to catch St. Louis.
Fearless prediction: Chicago will lose 100 games, but will still draw sold-out crowds.
AL West: A-Rod will have a good year with Texas. Seattle will have a bad year without A-Rod. Oakland will win the division.
The A’s lost sweet swinging Ben Grieve, Randy Velarde and Matt Stairs, but they picked up leadoff hitter Johnny Damon, who last year with the Royals led the A.L. in stolen bases (46) and runs scored (136). Texas will finish second solely on its offense, which will be helped by the addition of Andres Galarraga, Ken Caminiti and Alex Rodriguez. The Mariners will get by thanks to a solid rotation of Aaron Sele, Jamie Moyer, Freddy Garcia and John Halama, but unless hyped Japanese sensation Ichiro Suzuki is God’s cousin, the offense will struggle.
Fearless prediction: A-Rod will get tired of hearing the number 252, as in how many million he will get paid over the next 10 years.
AL East: A rotation that includes Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte and Orlando “El Duque” Hernandez is lethal. A rotation that includes those three along with free-agent addition Mike Mussina is downright scary. Sorry Boston, but New York just has too many firearms to topple. The Red Sox will finish second and snag a wild card berth despite having Nomar Garciaparra on the DL to open the season. Toronto will wish it still had David Wells and his 20 wins, but will take third behind the bat of Carlos Delgado and his 40-plus dingers.
Fearless prediction: Tampa Bay’s Ben Grieve will lead the American League in batting average.
AL Central: One of the best, but least talked about offseason acquisitions was Cleveland’s signing of two-time MVP Juan Gonzalez. Gonzalez badly needed a change of scenery from Detroit and will help absorb the loss of Manny Ramirez to Boston. Cleveland will win the division in the tightest race of the year over Chicago. The White Sox will contend thanks to the arm of Wells and the resurgence of Frank Thomas. The Royals, Twins and Tigers will then have a tight race of their own to try to avoid the cellar.
Fearless prediction: Wells throws another perfect game against Minnesota and then repeats his celebration from his first such performance and drinks 27 beers for each out.
NL Playoffs: Atlanta over wild card Cincinnati. St. Louis over San Francisco.
St. Louis over Atlanta in six games.
AL Playoffs: New York over Cleveland. Oakland over wild card Boston.
New York over Oakland in five games.
World Series: Finally, the Yankees crack under pressure and the Cardinals capture the ultimate prize in game seven at Yankee Stadium. McGwire will garner the headlines, but center fielder Jim Edmonds will be the series MVP after three home runs and three sensational diving catches.
So, there you have it. October will assuredly provide an exciting month of baseball, but as for myself, I’m looking forward to April, May, June, July, August and September.
Now, if you don’t mind, I have some chicken noodle soup to slurp, some Vitamin C to take and plenty of baseball to watch.
And really, who needs to go to class on the first day of the term anyway?