“Pillowtalk,” the big debut single from One Direction defector Zayn Malik, couldn’t have come at a worse time.

For one, it was overshadowed by the surprise release of not only Rihanna’s Anti but Drake’s latest single, “Summer Sixteen.” Secondly, it came not long after Justin Bieber’s Purpose, a bland and economical attempt at teen-star rehab that succeeded astronomically. “Pillowtalk” producers MYKL and Levi Lennox have probably been listening to Purpose on loop for weeks.

“Pillowtalk” is every bit the child of that album, both sonically – the feral whoops at the beginning show up a lot on Purpose, as do the vaguely trap drums – and in terms of attitude. This is the sort of iron-grey Axe-pop that’s doubtless meant to scrub away any vestiges of Zayn’s career as a teen star. It’s tough. It’s got muscle. It’s half trap, half alt-rock and all man. It talks about sex in terms of war and imprisonment. If you liked American Sniper, you’ll like “Pillowtalk”!

There really is no pillow talk in this song. In fact, the first word he says after “pillow talk” is “enemy” – not exactly the first word you want to hear out of the mouth of your boyfriend as he lies next to you, pecs bulging. “Pillowtalk” is ostensibly a song about raunchy, loud, sweaty sex. But it falls into the trap of nearly all male-sung sex songs: it doesn’t make sex sound fun at all.

“I’m seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure.”

“Fucking in, fighting on.”

“It’s our paradise and it’s our war zone.”

No thanks.

But the song’s most egregious crime is that it fails to establish Zayn as a presence. With its nondescript grunge-pop production, it could be a Nick Jonas song, a Justin Bieber song, even a Kelly Clarkson song – the only real difference being the voice. Zayn’s voice is gruff and masculine. But there’s nothing here resembling real virility, and it’s hard to tell if this toughness is Zayn’s intention or just him fitting his voice to the beat. 

It makes sense for “Pillowtalk” to be so mercenary. Someone’s probably staked a lot on Zayn breaking out, so hiring Timbaland to build a beat out of burp noises might not be the safest decision financially. But it really is a shame that MYKL and Lennox took so few risks.

There are people on Twitter who want Zayn to be the next Beyoncé. Even the next Justin Timberlake would be great, because that guy came crashing out of the gate with “Cry Me A River,” which decimated the charts in spite of mostly sounding like an alien autopsy.

Instead, the long-awaited debut by pop’s most conspicuous lone wolf dropped with roughly the same impact as a G-Eazy single. Let’s hope Harry Styles fares better.

Listen to “Pillowtalk” by Zayn below.