“Freshmen! Freshmen! Freshmen!” Yes, they are back again. Freshmen have finally replaced the seats of the now-sophomores and we can see them everywhere. They’re flooding the streets in groups of lanyard-swinging senses of entitlement. Fresh out of high school, these are… The Freshmen.
If you haven’t already become an aged master at spotting this wild creature, here are a few pointers. The first dead giveaway is that lanyard. That swinging sign of “I have no idea where I am half the time.” They give them out when they first arrive on campus, and of course they all want to wear them. What better way to hold your precious ID card and dorm keys? If that first sign didn’t give them away, wait until you catch them on the weekend.
You’re on the way home with maybe a few friends, on Hilyard Street and about to call it a night because you’re tired. Well, just when you thought you were home safe, you’ve met the worst stampede of lanyard-swinging freshmen possible on the corner near the Hilyard Street Market. They’re loud, way too proud, and happy to be carrying their open “Faderade” (terrible concoction of Gatorade and cheap booze), roaming in the near hundreds. Fresh out of the top tier in high school, these Ducklings can be frightening once they flock together.
But it’s not always these awful mobs that you run into. You may hit the occasional bunch staring at their phone, playing with a map app or just with a sheer look of panic on their faces. This is when you have to remember that you were once one of these young ones, and offer a few directions or even walk with them. Remember there was once a thing called dorm food, and if you’re living on your own now, I know you miss it.