(Eleanor Klock/Daily Emerald)
Opinion: Achieving social satisfaction isn’t as simple as it seems
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We hear it time and time again: “College is the best four years of your life!” As our families and the movies suggest, it’s the perfect combination of the new freedoms of adulthood without the responsibility of being a real grownup.
Yes, I certainly enjoy and am grateful for my time at UO, but I can’t help but wonder if the social expectations put on college are a little unrealistic. College isn’t perfect. It’s time to acknowledge that loneliness and social dissatisfaction are huge aspects of today’s college experience and invaluable in encouraging individual growth.
Let’s start with some statistics on loneliness among young adults — an issue many people fail to understand the severity of.
In the U.S., loneliness is a growing public health problem, especially affecting youth. As stated in the Surgeon General’s 2023 report, “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation,” “young adults are almost twice as likely to report feeling lonely than those over 65. The rate of loneliness among young adults has [also] increased every year between 1976 and 2019.”
When social isolation correlates to premature death, these findings are nothing to scoff at. The report continues, “Among initially healthy people tracked over time, those who are more socially connected live longer, while those who experience social deficits, including isolation, loneliness, and poor-quality relationships, are more likely to die earlier.”
While college certainly encourages highly social lifestyles, students struggle to define and follow their individual social needs, often pushing themselves beyond their social batteries out of fear of falling below the standard.
“At first, I thought I was going to go out way more. Now, I just don’t have the time or energy; I go to bed at 9 p.m.,” first-year UO student and club athlete Allison Johnson said. “I experience FOMO (fear of missing out) all the time, and sometimes when I do make plans, I end up falling asleep at my own functions.”
This leads me to ask — if social expectations of young adulthood are so unrealistic, how are they even set in the first place?
One of the key culprits is social media. In anticipation of, and while attending, university, students are hit with an onslaught of posts that present college as a time where you must constantly be surrounded by hordes of friends and waterfalls of alcohol. While at school, you can’t help but compare your own experience to these ideals and see a fault in your approach — no matter how fulfilling, deep down, it may be.
The same ideal is furthered by more general media, made by people well-above young adulthood, attempting to document the American college experience in the most entertaining way possible. While they still are classics and are deeply entertaining for a reason, movies such as the UO-beloved “Animal House” and “Pitch Perfect” contribute to inaccurate social norms.
And unfortunately, being a full-time student in actuality makes it impossible to live up to this standard. “Work hard, play hard” is certainly a popular mentality, but at a certain point, with responsibilities and wants and needs piled sky-high on your plate, you’re bound to burn out. In the long run, it’s simply not sustainable to spend 24/7 surrounded by hordes of friends.
Knowing that loneliness is an inevitable aspect of young adulthood, we might as well make the most of it. In its discomfort, social dissatisfaction leads to personal growth.
When you feel isolated, you’re forced to self-reflect, to actively seek out the communities and individuals that allow you to feel socially connected again, and if all else fails, learning to be your own company is an important skill as well.
Next time you decide to spend a Friday night in, remind yourself that there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Acknowledge your social boundaries and binge watch the Netflix series you keep hearing about. It’s worth it — I promise.
